Testing the Waters
by AceTiff12
Summary: After living in Maka and Soul's apartment for one year, Crona notices Maka acting a little strange. When new experiences flow in, the best place to keep track of them is in one of Maka's presents: a journal. Ambiguous!Crona.
1. Banana

A/N: This fanfic is based on a suggestion by ChronaxMaka writer. In one of my previous fics, _Shy_, there is a part that mentions how it took Crona several times to grow accustomed to hir relationship with Maka (9 times to admit they were dating, 6 times to say "I love you too," and 4 times to kiss). _Testing the Waters _is inspired by that concept. There will be 7 chapters.

**Disclaimer**: I don't own _Soul Eater _or any of its characters. They belong to Atsushi Ohkubo-sama.

* * *

My mornings usually began with a bird chirping outside my window and the smell of breakfast cooking in the kitchen—in other words, my mornings weren't very exciting. I'd wake up on my own, fix my bed, and get ready to face the day.

One morning was different. I woke up to the sound of a calm voice saying my name, a voice I recognized as Maka's. She wrapped her hand over my shoulder and shook it gently.

My eyes stayed shut, too tired to open. I could tell that the time was earlier than the one I usually got up at, so it was impossible that I had slept in. Besides, it was Saturday. There was nothing to be late for.

"Crona." She raised her voice a little louder, made it more firm. Her hand increased its pressure on my shoulder.

I sighed a quiet sigh and shrugged her off, turning my head to bury my face deeply into my pillow. I lay stretched out on my stomach with my arms hugging the pillow tightly. All was silent for a few brief moments. My body shifted, trying to get comfortable again.

"Alright, you asked for it."

The floor creaked as Maka's footsteps faded away.

When they vanished altogether, I knew she had left the room. I concentrated on lying still, on falling back to sleep. Then the sound of running feet appeared, growing louder with each step, drawing closer like a small stampede.

My eyes jerked themselves open, wide and fearful. I looked up just in time to see Maka spring from the floor, her body hovering in midair. Her pigtails flailed, defying gravity. The bed screeched as if in pain when she landed heavily on it with her feet.

I rolled onto my back, which quickly became a mistake. She started jumping up and down chanting, "Wake up! Wake up!" My limbs found themselves in danger of being crushed.

I shot my arms up. Each bounce knocked more and more of my breath out. I had no way of shouting that I was awake. The tremors buried my attempts to sit upright.

Silky hair flapping about, Maka clearly enjoyed herself. She switched from hopping on both legs, to hopping from one leg to the other, to performing spins in midair, and she even succeeded in a back flip that I was sure shook the whole apartment.

At last she bounced once more and stopped, the mattress creaking one final time. Standing with hands planted on hips, she grinned down at me.

I lay there panting as if _I _was the one who just finished jumping on the bed like a child. It was a wonder we hadn't crashed straight down to the apartment's bottom floor.

"Crona." Maka moved to the head of the bed and crouched down to sit on her feet. She leaned in close to my face. "Do you know what day it is?"

I lifted a shaking arm to wipe my mouth and neck. When I answered that it was Saturday, she shook her head.

"Today is the day you moved in with us," she said, "exactly one year ago."

"It is?" I asked.

She nodded.

"Oh… I didn't know." I also didn't know what this had to do with her waking me up so early.

The confusion must've shown on my face because she went on, "Our friends will be here later so we can throw you a party. We're going to make this place spotless before then. I want to get breakfast out of the way first, so tell me what you'd like."

After a short pause to right myself, I told her I'd like an omelet. She stood up and offered to fix my bed for me before leaving to cook.

In the meantime I took a shower and got ready for the day as usual. Ragnarok, sensing that breakfast was nearly ready, emerged from my back and asked if it was just him, or did "those guys" find _any _excuse to have a party. I had to admit I didn't see much cause for celebration just for living with Maka, Soul, and Blair for a year. I appreciated it, though, because it was nice to be reminded that I mattered to them.

When we were all fed and watered, everyone began splitting up the cleaning duties. Maka insisted I didn't have to help, but I told her I wanted to. For one thing, it would get finished faster and for another, I lived here too. I wanted to help take care of the place I called home.

The next few hours bustled with activity; we vacuumed, swept, dusted, polished, and mopped until our arms felt like rubber. Then Soul and I laid out bowls of chips and salsa on the coffee table in the living room. The phone rang as Maka placed a pan of cake batter into the oven. Soul answered the call.

"Bad news," he said after hanging up. "Liz is really sick, so Kid and them aren't coming. But they send you their regards, Crona."

For a few moments the three of us stood in place, glancing at each other with worried eyes. Blair sat between Soul's legs, looking up at us and frowning, her whiskered nose twitching.

I felt bad about Liz, but I couldn't help thinking that the party wouldn't be the same if all of our friends weren't here. There had been times when our group hung out with a couple or a bunch of us missing, but whenever we planned a party, no one was left out. I had a feeling my roommates were thinking along the same lines.

"Should we… call it off?" Maka looked at me uncertainly. "What do you think, Crona?"

Well, it wasn't like we'd never have another party again, right? And since we were celebrating my living here for a year, it should be alright if it was just us. So I agreed that we should cancel.

"You mean we did all that cleaning for nothing?" Blair groaned, slumping forward. Her hat hid half of her face. "What a waste of time…"

"No it wasn't. We'll just have some snacks and watch TV until the cake's done." Maka turned toward the phone. "I'll call the others and tell them…"

"Wait, can I do that?" I stepped forward to get her attention.

She stopped and smiled, letting me pass.

While the cake was baking, we helped ourselves to chips and salsa as we relaxed in front of the TV. The channel we were watching was about to play a movie once the current show finished.

This show was old because the picture was in black and white. It seemed to be a comedy because of all the puns the characters constantly threw at one another.

I didn't care much for it and was glad it was almost over. For a show that was supposed to be funny, there was only one scene that made me laugh.

A character didn't notice the banana peel lying on the ground until he slipped on it. His arms and legs flapped ridiculously as he fell. Sprawled on the ground, his eyes and mouth retained their overly dramatic shocked expressions.

I laughed, my arms clutched to my sides in order to steady myself. Of all the things to trip over! Sometimes I would almost stumble over my own feet, but this was ridiculous.

The others were quiet; they were looking at me with surprised faces. I wished I hadn't laughed.

"Crona," said Soul, "that's the oldest gag in the book."

I blushed, unsure of what to say at first. Their stares made me want to turn invisible. My mind frantically searched for words, but it was hard to find the right ones. The silence was building, so I settled with, "I'm sorry."

Soul blinked and smirked, shaking his head. "Don't sweat it." He turned his attention back to the TV screen.

Maka continued staring at me. I bit my lip, wondering if I should ignore her and look away.

"Your laugh is really cute," she said slowly. "I can't remember the last time I heard it."

I had no idea what to say to that. My blush deepened from flattery, unease, and shame all at the same time. Flattery because she thought my laugh was cute, unease because of her fixed stare, and shame because I was sorry that I hardly ever laughed.

Breaking eye contact, I clumsy reached for the bowl of chips and picked up one that was way smaller than I would've liked. I focused on its salty flavor as I nibbled on it.

An announcer on the TV informed us viewers of what was coming up next. The movie was about to start, so I looked up, but I could still feel her eyes on me. I couldn't relax until the feeling went away.

During one of the commercials, Maka got up to take the cake out. She smothered it with frosting and used gelled icing to write "Happy Anniversary" on the top. She nearly dropped it trying to kick Soul when he jokingly asked me who I had gone off and married without them knowing.

She let me cut out the first piece. It tasted fluffy and creamy and I loved how it warmed my throat when I swallowed.

After the movie ended, Soul picked up our dishes to wash them. Maka told me to stay put because she had something for me.

I waited for her on the couch, not expecting anyone to have bought me a present. She quickly returned carrying a small wrapped box. It was light and rectangular.

I neatly tore off the wrapping and found a book lying in my hands. It was leather-bound and had no title. A strap on the side prevented the book from opening unless I unhooked it, which I did. The pages inside were blank.

"Is this a journal?" I asked, looking at her.

She sat beside me, nodding. "It can be. You can write whatever you want in it."

She glanced down at my lap, where my hands were busy fastening the strap back in place. The book lay still and she placed a hand over its cover.

Her brow was furrowed as if she was thinking of what to say next. I put one of my hands on top of hers and she spread her fingers so ours could interlock. They felt snug.

I liked holding her hand. I decided that should be the first thing to write in my new journal. _I like holding hands with Maka._

She watched our hands for a while before looking back up at me. "I take that back," she said. "There are some things you can't write in this."

I raised my eyebrows at her, wondering what she meant.

She smiled. "You're allowed to write secrets and your own private thoughts, but if you ever think you aren't good enough or don't deserve something, then don't write it. Come straight to me so we can talk about how wrong that is."

Her words made my heart beat faster. It was as if she knew I still had thoughts like that every now and then. I used to think living with people who cared about me would put a stop to all my worries and doubts. When it didn't, I felt worse because it proved that I was ungrateful.

But Maka didn't seem to think I was ungrateful. She just wanted to help, as if having bothersome thoughts was normal no matter what.

"Thank you," I said, giving her a smile of my own. "I will."

"Good."

Her fingers loosened, so I let them go. She turned in her seat to face me but before I got a good look at her eyes, she leaned forward and wrapped her arms around my shoulders.

Her hug felt unusually stiff, not soft like the ones before it. Her face stayed hidden from view and her whole body was still until I carefully hugged her back. She pressed and kneaded my shoulders, holding me tighter.

"I'm really glad we're friends, Crona." Her voice sounded oddly thick, as if she were sad.

"I'm glad, too," I answered, emphasizing the meaning behind my words. Then I moved my arms lower to hug around her waist, matching the same level of tightness she provided me.

We sat together listening to the water running from the kitchen sink and the dishes clinking as Soul washed them. I waited for Maka to relax before letting go of her. To my relief her lips were smiling, but the brightness in her eyes had faded.

I asked, "What's wrong?"

She showed teeth, her smile now big and fake. "Nothing. I just like you, that's all."

"O-Oh." It didn't explain the dimness in her eyes, but a compliment was a compliment. I rubbed the back of my head, smiling shyly at the present in my lap.

That night, before I went to sleep, I pulled on my pajamas and sat at the tiny desk in my room. I switched on the desk lamp and wrote in my new journal for the first time.

At the top of the first page I wrote the day's date. Then I wrote _I like holding hands with Maka _as neatly as I could. As an afterthought, I wrote _I like hugging her, too_.

The journal entry seemed very short, even for someone who didn't plan on writing in it that much anyway. I went over what happened today in my head. One of the memories made me grin in amusement.

_Soul called it the oldest gag in the book, but I still think slipping on a banana peel is funny._


	2. Odd

The next day we went to Kid's mansion to visit Liz, who was still sick but getting better. We brought her cards and flowers. Kid, Patty, and even Liz herself were cheerful when they talked to us, so the illness was really nothing to worry about.

And yet Maka frowned and fidgeted the whole time there. She kept glancing from Liz to me with her mouth set in a straight line.

How odd.

It wasn't until the three of us started our journey home that we learned why she behaved that way. We walked in a row, Maka in the middle, Soul and I on either side of her. She reached out her hand to place it on my shoulder.

"How are you feeling, Crona?"

"Huh?" I blinked at the sudden question. "I'm… okay."

"You sure? No stomachaches lately? Chest pains? The air's not too cold right now, is it?"

I nervously shook my head from side to side.

"If you feel differently later on, let me know." She squeezed my shoulder and let it go, but her eyes remained on my face.

"I don't think Crona will catch what Liz has, if that's what you're worried about," said Soul. He thrust his hands into his pockets and blew at a gnat that tried to land on his nose. "But you know, I got this headache and it's driving me crazy…"

"Take some aspirin when you get home, then." Maka turned away from me to look straight ahead.

The rest of the walk continued in silence. I felt tense, like I had done something wrong. I also felt confused, because it wasn't like Maka to worry about something as small as me getting sick. The one most likely to worry about the future was me, not her. She hardly ever feared the future, but tackled it head-on.

That night I had trouble sleeping. My throat was dry so I feared that maybe I _was _getting sick after all. Then I realized I was just thirsty.

Quietly, I crept out of bed and headed for the kitchen. When I opened the refrigerator, a gasp sounded from the living room, startling me so much I slammed the door shut again.

"Who's that?" Maka's voice called out cautiously.

One hand was pressed to my chest as if it would help my heart calm down faster. I moved toward the living room to find her sitting at the edge of the couch, her hands clenched into fists on her lap.

She saw me and breathed out a sigh of relief, leaning back against the cushions. She smiled at me and asked what I was doing.

"Getting water," I answered in a rasp, moving my hand up to my throat.

She nodded and I took it as a sign to hurry and do so.

I felt better after just a few gulps. Wiping my hand across my mouth, I went back to stand near the living room, wondering what Maka was doing up past midnight when we had school in the morning.

"I couldn't sleep," she said simply.

"Well… Is there anything I can do to help?"

Her eyes grew very wide. "No!"

The two of us flinched at her volume.

"No," she whispered. "I'll be fine."

"Okay," I said, but I wasn't convinced. "Good night."

"Good night." Her hands were in her lap, and for a moment I thought I saw them twitch.

When I reached my door, I stopped and stared at it for a while. Then my arm stretched out to open and close it just loud enough for the sound to carry to the living room.

I turned around and tiptoed slowly back the way I came.

I stayed in the dark, peering into the living room once more. Maka was staring at the black TV screen, rocking back and forth slightly on the couch. Then she stopped, sighed, and leaned back with her chin pointed up at the ceiling. She stayed frozen in that position for a long time only to lean forward and start rocking again.

She continued this cycle endlessly.

I snuck my way back to bed, eventually falling asleep with one thought still clinging to my mind. _How odd…_

When class began, I couldn't help worrying that she would fall asleep during the lecture. But it seemed she managed to get enough sleep last night after all, because her eyes were bag-less.

Professor Stein announced that we'd be having a test at the end of the week and on the board he wrote what topics it would cover. Maka would usually lean forward in her seat to pay extra close attention, but today she copied what had been written then hovered her pen idly over her notebook.

Her hand didn't move for a long time, so I stole a glance at her face. Her eyes gawked straight ahead, unfocused, a tiny upward crescent pulling at her lips. She seemed to be in a pleasant kind of trance.

It was very unlike Maka to daydream in the middle of class. That was something one could expect from Soul or Black*Star, from students who weren't as interested in lessons and grades as she was. Perhaps she'd developed some new, strange illness that nobody had heard of before.

Catching her staring at nothing was surprising, although it was even _more _surprising to see her doing it again during lunch. Only this time she wasn't staring at nothing; she was staring at me.

We were sitting across each other at the table, so I noticed it easily. She looked away when I caught her. I turned my head to glance over my shoulder, wondering if there was something behind me that had caught her attention. Seeing nothing out of the ordinary, I could only imagine what her deal was. If I had something on my face, she would tell me.

I kept my head lowered as I ate, spying on her through my bangs. She laid a pair of radiant eyes on me again, watching me merrily. I tried to eat my lunch without letting her oddness bother me.

Having only taken a few bites, her plate was full. Ragnarok asked if she was going to finish and she handed it to him without a word.

She seemed very excited when the school bell rang at the end of the day.

"Don't forget to study for this week's test," Professor Stein called out. "It'll affect your grade if you're not careful."

One by one the class filed out or idled to catch up with friends. I followed Maka down the steps to the front of the room, where Soul already stood. She hurried forward to tug on his sleeve, saying she needed his help with something. Before he could respond, she grabbed his wrist and dragged him toward Tsubaki and Black*Star by the door.

"Hey!" she shouted to the blue-haired Meister. "I need your help, too."

"Huh? What? Oh. Can't it wait? Tsubaki and I have plans."

"I could help you if you like, Maka," I offered, curious to know what she was up to.

"Umm…" She bit her lip, then looked at Tsubaki, as if silently asking for advice. Then her eyes widened and glimmered. With her free hand, she gave me a gentle push. "You can help me by helping Tsubaki in Black*Star's place."

Black*Star looked ready to protest, but gave in when Maka told him she could really use his strength. She would settle for no less.

I watched them leave the classroom, unable to answer Tsubaki when she asked what Maka wanted with those two. The reason escaped us both. To take my mind off it, I asked what she and Black*Star had planned to do today. It hurt knowing Maka didn't want my help, but at least I could still be of use.

Tsubaki just needed to run an errand, do some grocery shopping, so I allowed her to lead the way. We left the school and walked side by side to the market. Our stroll was comfortable and quiet and since we had lots of time, I decided to utter the thoughts that wouldn't leave me alone.

"Do you think Maka seems… strange?"

Tsubaki put a finger to her chin thoughtfully. She stayed silent for a few seconds. "Not really. Not to me, anyway. Why do you ask?"

I felt my face flush hot. If I was the only one who'd notice, then maybe nothing was wrong with her after all, and I was looking too much into it.

"Nothing," I mumbled. "Just… Last night she couldn't sleep… And today she was staring and daydreaming and hardly eating… And now she's running some sort of secret errand with Soul and Black*Star…"

"Did anything happen recently that might've caused her to act differently?"

I tried hard to think back and remember. We found out Liz was sick, which was probably why she worried I might get sick… Before that, we stayed home to celebrate my living there for one year…

I shook my head.

"Hmm. Well it's probably nothing, Crona. I'm sure she'll be fine."

Tsubaki smiled at me, and I smiled back, and with a jolt I suddenly remembered something.

Back then, Maka gave me the journal as a present and hugged me and smiled at me with dim doleful eyes. Maybe that was when she changed?

"You really care about her a lot, don't you?"

It was a simple question, not meant to tease, but my face burned hot again anyway. At that moment we arrived at the grocery store, so I was spared from answering.

* * *

-xoxo-

* * *

The two of us carried two plastic bags in each hand to her house. I was happy to see that Black*Star had arrived home—I wasted no time in asking what Maka needed him for.

"Books," he said, his face turning sour as he reached out to take the bags off my hands. "She wanted us to help carry her books."

He and Soul were dragged over to the academy's library but Maka wouldn't let them follow her in as she collected books. They had to wait outside while she browsed.

All three of them carried the tall, heavy stacks of books back to the apartment. When asked why she was checking out so many, she wouldn't give a straight answer. She just said that they were important.

"For this week's test, maybe?" Tsubaki guessed.

"But all the answers are in our textbooks!" Black*Star looked horrified. "Don't tell me she's going to do _extra _research!"

I said nothing, doubting that was what she had in mind. As I helped them put the groceries away, I wondered what kind of books she borrowed. I was so anxious to get home that I declined Tsubaki's invite to stay for dinner.

My stomach growled by the time I stepped into the apartment, but I ignored it. The smell of fish wafted from the kitchen, but I ignored it too. I marched straight to Maka's room instead.

The door was closed, so I knocked.

"I thought I told you not to bother me, Soul."

"It's me…"

"Oh, Crona! Sorry, welcome back. Did you help Tsubaki?"

"Yes, but—"

"Thanks, I really appreciate that."

"You're welcome, but—"

"If you haven't eaten already, Blair cooked us some fish."

"Okay, but—"

"I'm eating in here today, in case you're wondering. I'm going to be really busy for a while, so try not to interrupt, alright?"

"I…" If there was ever a time to suddenly develop super powers, it was now. I wished I had the ability to look through walls, so I could see what she was up to. Was she studying? Writing? Or simply reading?

I sighed in defeat. "Alright."

The only response I heard was the turning of a page.

I went to the kitchen and plopped down at the table while Blair fixed me a plate. I asked Soul if he had seen what kind of books Maka borrowed. He frowned and folded his arms across his chest, thinking. Then he shook his head.

"I can only remember one title, because it was staring at me for the whole trip. _Famous Quotes From Famous People_. I have no idea what she's trying to work on, though."

"Probably something dumb," said Ragnarok, who was slinking his way toward the top of my head.

I wondered if she would tell us once she finished whatever she was doing. Mind full, I hardly tasted the food set in front of me. Blair began tossing fish at Ragnarok the way a seal trainer would to a seal, but even that couldn't make me stop thinking of the books in Maka's room.

* * *

-xoxo-

* * *

The next morning was the same routine. I showered, had a bowl of cereal, and waited for everyone to be ready so we could walk to the academy together. Today I waited by watching the same channel that had showed the black and white TV show. They were showing a different episode of the same series. Once again, the only scene that got me to laugh was one that involved someone slipping on a banana peel.

I didn't notice Soul trying to get my attention until he picked up the remote and shut the television off. He was ready and so was I, but where was Maka? She was never the last one to be ready.

The two of us went to her door, knocked, and got no response. Very cautiously, we tried the knob and found it unlocked. The sight that greeted us nailed us down in our places.

Despite the sunshine pouring in from the window, the light was on.

She was still sleeping, her body face down in the wrong direction on her bed. She lay with her feet resting atop her pillow, dressed in the same clothes she wore yesterday. Her head rested on an open book. Countless more littered the room around her, some open, others closed.

"Don't tell me she stayed up all night reading!" Soul rushed to her side, stepping on a few of the texts strewn across the floor. He grabbed her shoulder and shook it fast.

"Huh—Oh, _dammit_!"

Maka had jolted awake, lifting her head so quickly that the pages clinging to her cheek ripped completely out of the book.

Breathing heavily, eyes huge, she looked wildly around the room and just stared when she noticed us. Her face grew pale and sweaty. "What time is it?"

"Class starts in half an hour." Soul peeled away the pages from her cheek and rested his hand on her head. In no time her breathing returned to normal. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine—But I need to hurry if I don't want to be late." She jumped up and shooed the two of us out of her room. "You guys go without me." The edgy tone in her voice lashed out as a commandment. No arguing, or we would regret it.

Soul and I fled from the apartment. When the building disappeared from view, we slowed down. Neither of us spoke.

My legs felt wobbly as they moved and I feared they'd turn into mush right in the middle of the street. This was the first time Maka had ever slept in. What would've happened if Soul hadn't woken her? She wasn't the type to run late for anything and even now there was a chance she wouldn't make it in time.

Not to mention her room, too. I'd never seen it in such a state. She usually kept books in neat piles so she could find them easily.

"Hey, Crona… Does Maka seem weird to you lately?"

I nodded, glad that I was no longer the only one who thought so. "Do you think she'll be okay? I mean, after she finishes whatever she's been doing, do you think she'll go back to normal?"

"I think so. But… I feel like…"

"What?" I asked.

Soul's eyes narrowed. "Whatever she's trying to do, I get the feeling it's more important to her than school."

* * *

-xoxo-

* * *

Maka arrived the same time Professor Stein did. She wasn't late, but she looked exhausted. Her hair was damp from a rushed shower, her clothes hung crookedly, and her face burned bright red from running all the way here.

As soon as she sat down to my right-hand side, she propped up a textbook and laid her head down. The upright pages kept her hidden from the professor at the front of the room. She stared at me, her eyes wavering as though pleading.

I gave her my hand and she took it. Hers was extremely warm. She must've liked the coolness of my touch because she brought it up to her neck.

Eyes falling shut, she kept my hand pressed to her skin. I relaxed my fingers, noting the pulse beating under them.

With only my left hand free, it was difficult to take any notes. I was too distracted by Maka to hear much of what the professor was saying anyway. She pulled my hand up to her face, where her cheek was still warm and flushed.

Her breathing softened as her face returned to its normal color. My hand no longer felt cool, but she kept it where it was.

I liked that I could help her relax, and I liked the way she looked while she rested. Many strands of her hair were darker than the others because they were still damp. Her face lost all its lines of stress. She sunk into a peaceful nap shortly. The hand holding mine to her cheek loosened but maintained its grasp.

She wasn't the kind of student who'd lay her head down and close her eyes during class, but I felt she deserved a break today. I didn't tell on her.

What could have made her so tired, though? What had she been reading all night? I should've taken a closer look at the books scattered across her room when I had the chance. The only clue was the title Soul had seen, _Famous Quotes From Famous People_. What kind of research was she up to? What could be more important to her than school?

Later that day, Soul and Maka had an extracurricular assignment, so I went home by myself. The door to her room was closed and I stood in front of it. She never directly told me that I wasn't allowed inside.

But Ragnarok kept chanting _**Do it! Do it! **_in my head, so I knew it would be wrong. I turned away only to bump into something huge and squishy.

Blair squeezed me into a tight hug to welcome me home, then asked what I was doing in front of Maka's room. She thought our roommates wouldn't be home until much later.

"You're not trying to do something naughty, are you?" she asked, a mischievous sheen in her eye.

"N-No," I stammered, wondering how going into an empty room would be naughty in her sense of the word. I rubbed my hands together nervously. "Blair? Has Maka seemed weird to you lately?"

She shook her head and when she asked why, I told her about this morning. I told her the books would probably help me understand, but as soon as I mentioned them, she strode past me, opened the door, and went inside.

Too shocked to give a shout, I silently waved my arms at her to call her back. She paid no attention, so I wanted to pull her out by force, but I couldn't go past the doorway, as if an invisible wall had been placed there. I couldn't take a step further. Somehow I felt that Maka and Soul would return home any moment, so I hightailed it out of there.

Taking a deep breath, I collapsed onto the living room couch. My hands fumbled for the remote control to the TV. It would serve as a good distraction. Maybe that black and white show was playing.

Blair didn't appear for several minutes. I pressed the mute button when I heard her leave Maka's room. She came into the living room with a strange smile on her face that she half hid with her hand.

"Do you know what she's researching?" I asked.

At this, she burst into laughter. Her shoulders shook as I just stared in bewilderment. She laughed in high-pitched mewls that would surely carry into the outside hall and be heard from anyone who might happen to be returning home.

"Maybe," she said, still giggling. "I think so. But I can't tell you." Then she hugged herself and sighed deeply. "Ohh, if only she'd come to me first! A book can't help her with that kind of thing!"

"What thing?"

"Nothing. Forget I said anything." She marched to the couch, told me to stand, walked behind me, grabbed my shoulders, and steered me to the kitchen, saying that we should prepare dinner together.

For the rest of the week, Maka stayed holed up in her room. She managed to wake up on time for class at least, so that was good. She didn't seem stressed out over her research, but I didn't get to see or talk to her as much as I used to and I missed her.

The night before we had to take our test, I spotted Blair going into Maka's room. I knew Maka was inside, so it surprised me when the door remained shut. I thought for sure she would kick Blair out for disturbing her.

The next morning, I felt confident about passing the test.

"When you finish, bring your paper up and you'll be dismissed for the day." Professor Stein sat at the desk at the front of the class while the tests lay face down in front of us. "You may begin."

There was the sound of sheets of paper turning over and pencils scribbling. I wrote my name at the top, but became aware of the stillness beside me.

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Maka's fists on her lap. She hadn't turned her paper over. She stared down at it with a gaunt look on her face, her mouth etched into a deep frown.

I watched her, worried. She sat frozen as though she'd been paralyzed.

This time she was sitting to my left, so I placed my free hand over her fist while keeping my pencil clutched in a firm grip. She peered at me and her eyes turned glossy.

I wanted to link my soul with hers so I could hear what she was thinking, but Professor Stein might catch us and think we were cheating. The last thing I wanted right now was for her to get in trouble.

Maka chewed her lip. Very carefully, her fist melted away into a flat hand and slid out from under mine. She picked up her pencil and leaned forward, writing tiny letters at the bottom corner of the paper in front of her.

I leaned over my test, turned my head slightly at just the right angle, and squinted at the words she uncovered.

_I forgot to study._

It was my turn to chew on my lip. I never thought I'd live to see the day when she would come to class unprepared for a test. It was all because of those books. She let them distract her. Whatever topic she was researching, it was going to make her fail, and it annoyed me to no end.

I felt the pencil in my hand crushing, so I loosened my fingers before it could snap in two. I folded a bottom corner of my test and wrote four words into the white space.

_You can copy mine._

Maka squinted her eyes, her mouth moving soundlessly as she read the note.

She flinched.

Her hands covered her face as she leaned back in her seat. The rate of her breathing increased.

I knew sharing answers was wrong, but I didn't want to see her fail. I'd rather get a zero instead, so if she didn't want to copy, then maybe we could switch the names on our tests. I lowered my pencil to write down my new suggestion, but she took her hands off her face to stop me.

Erasing her previous note, she jotted down another. _I want to do this fair and square. I'll be fine. _The words showed up nice and neat, showing her confidence in her decision.

Without waiting for a reply from me, she rubbed out the words she'd just written and turned her paper over.

Still worried, I forced myself to focus on my own test. I tried to ignore it whenever Maka tapped her pencil slowly or erased an answer furiously. I reminded myself that she was smart, that she would be able to figure things out on her own.

One by one, students began bringing their tests up and leaving. The classroom was half empty by the time I finished. Maka was holding her head with one hand, her brow furrowed in concentration. As soon as I left the room, I stood near the door to wait for her.

Each time it opened, I checked to see if it was her coming out. My head drooped to stare at the floor when it wasn't. I stood against the wall with my hands clasped behind my back and waited.

The door opened every few minutes, then it stayed closed for a long time. I looked at it, wondering if it'd be disruptive to peek inside. I fidgeted in place until a girl came out rubbing an eye sleepily. She left the door open a few inches, so I crept closer.

There wasn't enough space to see Maka's seat, so I gently pulled the doorknob further and leaned in to get a good look.

I found her. She was the only person left. She didn't seem to know this because when she stood up, she glanced all around and clutched her test close to her. She looked shocked and embarrassed to realize that she was the last one to finish.

She quickly descended the steps and hurried to the front desk, but as she dropped off her paper and turned to leave, Professor Stein called her back.

"Yes?" she asked.

The professor opened his mouth, then closed it again. He looked over her shoulder, at the classroom door, and raised his voice.

"She'll be out in just a few minutes, Crona."

Maka's head whipped behind her, eyebrows raised. I jumped.

"Sorry!" I squeaked, and closed the door.

I stood away, leaning against the wall again and twiddling my thumbs.

When Maka stepped out, I asked her what the professor wanted. She said he just wanted to know if she was okay. Then she moved forward, but I didn't want to walk and talk at the same time. I stood in front of her.

"You never forgot to study before. _Are _you okay?"

She smiled. "I am, don't worry. I was just so busy with my books that studying slipped my mind."

I frowned, remembering how Soul said the thing she was looking into might be more important to her than lessons. From what I could see, she was giving it way too much attention.

I took a step closer to her and my hands gripped onto her upper arms. I looked straight into her eyes and she looked back, the smile sliding off of her face.

"You've been a bit strange lately, Maka. I don't know what you're reading up on, but I want to help. You don't have to do all that research by yourself. I want to be useful to you—I want to help out in any way, even if it's impossible."

Even if it had nothing to do with research, I wanted to help her with anything she needed. It could be something small or big. I wanted her to see that I would always be there for her because, like Tsubaki had guessed, I really cared about her a lot.

She stood staring at me and at first I thought she was quietly deciding whether to accept my help or not, but then I noticed the change in her eyes. They were brilliant and clear. It was the same as when I caught her staring at me in the cafeteria.

She was relaxed and still. A small smile formed on her face as she reached out one hand to touch my cheek. She touched it so gently that I loosened my hold on her arms immediately.

"Thank you, Crona… I'm glad you want to help, but this is something I have to do on my own. I'm almost finished, so please don't worry about it anymore."

She spoke with such certainty that I couldn't help but believe her. Even though she'd spent too much time on her project, I nodded for her sake. There was just one thing I was dying to know, one thing I had to get to the bottom of.

"What are you researching?" I asked timidly.

She blinked and removed her hand from my face. "I can't tell you yet. But it is very important to me."

I let go of her completely, but continued to stand close. "More important than a test?"

She grinned. "Yup. It's more important than assignments and homework, too. It's even more important than getting good grades and being on time for class and being as good a Meister as my mom."

My eyes widened and I had to restrain myself from letting my jaw slump. A week ago she would never say these things, or at least she would never admit to these things out loud.

Chuckling at my obliviousness, she moved to stand by my side and took my hand in hers. "Let's go home," she said.

That night, I sat at my desk with the journal she'd given to me. I hadn't written in it since the day I got it. Underneath the first entry, I wrote down the date and let my thoughts spread across the paper.

_Maka has been odd. She worried about my health for no reason, daydreamed in class, stared at me during lunch, slept in and was nearly late to class, borrowed a bunch of books from the library to read in private, forgot to study for today's test, and said she's found something more important than school._

_Blair saw the books in her room and went in there yesterday without getting kicked out, so I think she knows what's going on. _

_Maka said she can't tell me what that important something is yet. I wanted to help her, but she told me it was something she had to do by herself. I'm glad she's almost finished._


	3. Checkup

A/N: (Let's pretend Maka's singing "Style," yeah?)

* * *

When Maka returned her books to the library, she got Blair to go with her. Blair used her magic to float the stack of books all the way to the academy library safely.

As an apology for ruining one of them, Maka paid for the book that had its pages torn when she had slept in last week. Now it belonged to her.

She kept it hidden in her room, however, because she still wasn't ready to tell me what she'd been researching.

It was good news knowing she was finished, but this didn't mean she'd immediately stop acting a bit… odd.

I woke up early one morning to the sound of music. It was a bouncy, carefree tone that I thought was being played by a nearby neighbor until I realized it was much closer than that. The song was definitely coming from our apartment. It appeared to drift out of Maka's room.

I stood up in my pajamas and poked my head out the door to find I wasn't the only one who'd been awakened by the noise. Soul was peeking out of his bedroom too, his hair a mess. He grimaced at Maka's door.

I took a few cautious steps in its direction. The closer I got, the better I could make out the song's lyrics. It celebrated life as a child and embraced what the future held. When I caught Soul's eye, he arched an eyebrow at me.

It seemed as though two people were singing, but then I realized that one voice belonged to Maka. She was listening to the song and singing right along with it. She'd never done something like this before.

Even though I wasn't a musical expert like Soul, I thought she sounded amazing. Her voice flowed smoothly and resonated with emotion, as if every word truly reflected how she felt in that moment.

When the song reached an instrumental segment, her door opened. She stepped out smiling and humming until she saw Soul.

"Good morning, Soul!" she cried, dashing toward him and throwing her arms around his neck.

He stumbled in surprise but managed to keep his balance. "Yeah," he said, giving her a light and awkward hug. "Listen, don't you think it's a bit early for—"

"Good morning, Crona!"

She seemed to be in her own little world. She hugged me around the middle and pressed the side of her head to my chest. She looked genuinely gleeful.

"Good m-morning," I answered, blushing.

The song's lyrics returned and Maka sang. She marched toward the kitchen with Soul and I following a safe distance behind.

She opened cabinet doors while the two of us sat at the table. A soft meow sounded from the living room. Blair crept out from underneath the coffee table, stretching her paws and yawning. I had a good idea of what would happen next.

"Good morning, Blair!"

Abandoning the cabinets, Maka raced to the drowsy cat and picked her up. The hug seemed to wake her right up because she transformed on the spot, hugging Maka just as snugly.

The two of them started singing together, swaying to the beat. Blair took a step backward, climbing onto the coffee table and pulling Maka up with her. They danced and sang about the sky, the stars, a hope for a bright tomorrow, and a prayer for God to listen from high above.

Then Blair hopped down and strode to a mystified Soul. She took his hands and tried to get him to stand up because she wanted him to dance with her.

He kept saying, "Why? Why are you two so happy?"

And she only answered with, "Why not?"

Maka hopped off the coffee table, too. She walked over to me with outstretched hands. The beaming smile on her face wouldn't leave, even when I shook my head.

She hooked her fingers together with mine, causing heat to rush to my face. Her head nodded to the music as she continued to sing. Looking her in the eyes made me want to close my own until she went away, but I couldn't.

In truth I liked that she was so happy, standing in front of me and gently swinging my hands from side to side. Her twinkling eyes and harmonious voice were hypnotic. They drew me to my feet without my realizing it.

She squeezed my hands and swung them so that my arms joined in too. She wanted me to sing and dance with her, but I was more interested in just watching.

As the song faded out, reaching its end, she stopped singing. My arms went still. Blair released Soul, but Maka held onto me a little longer. She slid her thumbs across my knuckles, catching her breath but beaming at the same time.

I raised the corners of my lips in return. When she let my hands go, she leaned forward and gave me a delicate hug. I copied her, trying to guess what it was that put her in such a good mood.

* * *

-xoxo-

* * *

We didn't have much class that day. Every year, there came a day when we students had to get examined by the school nurse. It was an annual health checkup. Today Nygus-sensei would check our hearing, test our vision, and take our blood pressure.

All the students in our class lined up outside the infirmary. We took our turns one by one, free to go once it was over.

I stood in the middle of the line behind Maka and the others. They chatted while I listened, occasionally jumping in when addressed directly. The line moved slowly.

As my turn approached, I leaned against the wall, shifting my weight from one foot to the other. I had to use the restroom, but if I left now, what would happen to my spot? Would I miss my turn and be forced to stand at the back of the line? Could I hold it until the test was over?

I stood up straight. No, I couldn't. I had to leave now.

Sighing, I reached up and tapped Maka on the shoulder. She turned to me, a sweet smile already on her face.

I asked her to hold my place if she could, told her that I'd be back as soon as possible. She assured me she would and that I had nothing to worry about.

I ran for it.

Shibusen had plenty of public restrooms, but not many of them were unisex. Unisex bathrooms were the only kind I used, and I knew where all of them were located. The closest one was a long way from here. I flew down corridors, made sharp turns at corners, and bounded up a couple of stairways.

I was glad to see that the area was deserted. The bathroom was empty, as it usually was. After I used it and washed my hands, I wasted no time in hurrying back. I ran so fast that my chest and throat burned. The roots of my hair began to moisten.

My eyes widened when I saw the infirmary's open door. Nygus-sensei stood at it talking to Maka, who had her hands clasped together beneath her chin. A line of impatient students stretched behind her. I sprinted, which was stupid because then I had to force myself to stop without crashing into both of them.

"See?" said Maka. "Crona's right here."

Nygus-sensei spoke sternly. "I can't take your blood pressure while you're out of breath, Crona. I need you to rest for a few minutes first. Come inside and wait while I check on the others."

I could only huff and puff in response.

She led me to the farthest end of the room with Maka following close behind. She pointed out the last of the row of hospital beds and told me to relax. Then she turned and walked back to the other side of the room, toward the door.

I sat at the edge of the bed, bending down to remove my shoes. Maka moved to pull the hospital curtain so that it hid our spot from view.

At first I wanted to lie down without any sheets covering me, but I changed my mind when I saw Maka pulling up a chair. I slipped under one and settled for tugging it up to my waist. Exhaling a large breath, I looked at her.

Before I could ask, she said, "I'm staying to keep you company."

It was a good thing I was tired, so she couldn't tell that my cheeks were now flushed from embarrassment. "You don't have to…"

"I want to."

My heart beat fast, which was bad because I was supposed to be resting. The sincerity in her voice was just so nice to hear.

"Thank you," I said.

"You're welcome."

We fell into silence. She stared at me—well, more like gazed at me, really—and it reminded me of the time I had first laughed at the TV character who'd slipped on a banana peel. She'd stared back then too and told me my laugh was cute. I had looked away, but holding her eyes now didn't feel the least bit uncomfortable.

She was sitting close enough that I could reach over and grasp her hand if I wanted. It looked soft and inviting, but I left it alone. I heard her start to talk about how her and the others' checkups went, so I looked up at her eyes again.

She didn't ask me questions or what I thought about such and such, probably to spare my voice for a while so I could rest comfortably. I felt that listening to her helped too. I liked the way she sounded. Very soothing.

When she paused, I assumed she was drawing breath or thinking of more things to say. I waited calmly, my sight having set itself on her hand again sometime in the middle of her talk. In the distance, I could hear a student reciting letters off a chart that Nygus-sensei was surely pointing to.

I glanced at Maka, who was looking at her hand, the one I'd been staring at. She looked at me, then the hand, then back to me again.

I cringed. She knew that I'd been staring at it. I hoped she didn't think I was being rude. To her it might've seemed like I hadn't been paying attention to her this whole time.

"Sorry," I tried to say, my voice coming out so soft that I barely heard it.

She didn't smile. Instead she reached out and gently took hold of my hand.

I stared, wide-eyed, surprised but happy. Before I had time to get my hand to respond, she gathered it up into both of her own.

Placing it against her cheek, she closed her eyes. Both her hands held mine there, unmoving. My arm was like a priceless scarf she was handling, a treasure. Her mouth stayed fixed on her face in a neutral state.

Thankful that the hospital curtain hid us, I felt safe with her, cared for. I didn't move my fingers, choosing instead to dwell on the warmth and gentleness of her cheek and hands. I wondered if I felt the same to her. She sat rigid and quiet, looking unnaturally serious. She neither smiled nor frowned, so she must have been thinking deeply.

I blinked at her, both of our faces blank. I watched as she kept still, not making a sound. I decided it best to wait before asking her if everything was alright.

Faint sounds floated from the other side of the room. Several more students came, had their examinations, and went. Most passed all three tests with no trouble, but a few got strict warnings and precautions from the nurse. Through all this, Maka didn't move.

I parted my lips, then shut them because all at once she opened her eyes. She gave me a long, steady stare.

The silence broke when she said, "I love you, you know."

My entire being went limp. I knew I misheard her, but her green eyes kept watching me intensely. They stayed fixed on me, and in their color lay a reflection of someone ghastly-looking staring back.

Nothing made any sense. My brain shut down as every part of me went numb. The person sitting in front of me ceased to be someone I recognized. There must have been some mistake. Somewhere, sometime in the past, something must have gone horribly wrong. But whatever it was, I couldn't even begin to figure out.

I expected the world to drop out below me, plummeting me into darkness. When it didn't, it proved I hadn't fallen asleep here on the hospital bed. I was awake, which meant this was real and so was the girl who just spoke to me.

Moments after it shut off, my brain restarted. It took a minute to adjust to everything again. The feeling slowly returned to my hands and face.

I heard myself say, "Oh."

"Alright Crona, I can see you now."

Nygus-sensei appeared around the curtain. I jumped with fright, but Maka was calm.

She carefully set my hand back down on the bed and stood up from her chair.

As the nurse asked me if I was completely rested, my eyes watched Maka walk away. I gave a nod of my heavy head and sat up to put my shoes on.

I followed Nygus-sensei closely, hiding and peeking from behind her back. My focus centered on Maka, who walked briskly to the door and exited without a second's hesitation.

I was led to the examination area of the infirmary, where I had my blood pressure taken, my hearing checked, and my vision tested. Nygus-sensei said my hearing was in especially good shape.

Another student was called in for their turn. Instead of stepping out, I dragged my feet back over to the farthest hospital bed. The curtain was still drawn.

Leaving it alone, I walked around it and sat on the bed's edge with my hands in my lap. I contemplated the floor under my shoes.

Ragnarok settled atop my head.

Whatever he wanted to say, I interrupted. "Was I hearing things?" My voice fell out dry and scratchy.

"No, I heard it too. Loud and clear."

I rubbed my hands over each other, chin dropping onto my chest. "What do you think she meant?"

"What do _you _think she meant?"

I didn't answer, annoyed at his unhelpfulness.

At the other end of the room Nygus-sensei continued checking more students. After her last patient said goodbye, I heard her gather up her things and walk out. The door closed softly behind her.

I sat in a quiet slouch with Ragnarok loafing on my head. This was the longest time he'd ever stayed up there without speaking.

My stomach's growling convinced me to stand. I drew the hospital bed's curtain all the way back, then moved toward the chair Maka had been sitting on. Cautiously, I pushed it back to its original place.

I turned to leave, folding my arms together in front of me because I felt a little bit cold.


	4. The Carving on the Tree

That night, at the dinner table, Maka did something she'd never done before. We were having steak and as I pulled out a chair, she fixed my plate. She set it down in front of me, and then cut the meat into just the right sized pieces. Medium, not too big and not too small.

When we went to bed, she wished me good night and sweet dreams. She hugged me around the waist, leaning into me so close that I could feel her breath tickle my neck.

I wrote this in my journal:

_Today Maka said that she loves me. I'm not sure what she means by that. Should I ask her? Was that the reason she's been acting strange? The books, the daydreaming, all of it? Was this the thing she found that's so important to her? I don't really know how to deal with this._

The next day marked the start of the weekend. I woke up to a pair of shiny yellow eyes.

Jerking upright, I stared wide-eyed at Blair the cat.

"Good morning," she said simply.

Unable to find words, I blinked at her.

She smirked and asked, "Maka told you, isn't that right?"

"Told me what?" I muttered.

"You know what."

Her eyes narrowed, but the sly smile stayed on her face.

I looked away, folding my arms in front of me.

Blair was quiet for a few moments. Then her voice softened. "She's really nice, you know. She'd never do anything to hurt you."

"I _know _that," I snapped. Breathing deeply, I locked eyes with her once more. "Why didn't she come to me about this first?"

"She wanted to be sure of it first, Crona. She told me she had to be certain of her feelings before telling you anything."

A nasty, squeaky voice flung out. "Leave it to that bookworm to rely on books for crap like this." Ragnarok leaned over my head, rolling his X-shaped pupils.

Blair lifted her head proudly. "That's my little researcher for you, though. A bit odd, but I think it's cute."

My face heated with discomfort. To think that Maka went through all that trouble because of me.

"She's telling Soul about it right now, by the way."

"_What_?" I gaped.

Blair jumped off my bed and trotted toward the door. I scrambled after her.

Clutching the doorknob, my hand turned it carefully. The three of us peered out.

Soul's bedroom door was closed. I tried to move forward, but a firm paw held my foot down.

"Just wait," Blair whispered.

We did. It wasn't long before the door opened and Maka stepped out, followed by Soul.

I craned my neck to get a look at his face, but the back of his head wouldn't let me. He and Maka disappeared into the kitchen.

"See?" Blair winked at me before ambling after them.

I gripped my shoulder, wondering if it'd be possible to never have to leave my room again. Maybe if Ragnarok weren't so pushy, I'd stand a chance.

The day went on like any other day at first. Everyone continued to act as they normally did. So when I spotted Maka pulling a liter of soda out of the fridge around lunchtime, I didn't think much of it.

I went to my room and stretched out with a good book in my hands. It helped take my mind off the things that made me want to curl into a ball.

Just as I got wrapped up in the story, a knock on the door brought me back out. I marked my place, calling for the person on the other side to come in.

It was Maka. She stepped inside as I sat up to face her. She wore a different outfit than the one I'd seen her in a few hours ago. It was a simple summer dress, blue and white. Lace up sandals supported her feet. All I could wonder was where she was going.

She turned, pushing the door back.

"Leave it open," I said.

"Oh, okay." She pulled it again. Clasping her hands down in front of her, she took a couple steps toward me.

I squirmed under her gaze, relaxing only a little when she smiled gently.

"Crona," she asked, "will you go on a picnic with me?"

Her question threw me off. Having a picnic for lunch sounded nice, but why the change of clothes? I hesitated before telling her sure, then asked if I should change too.

A faint blush appeared on her cheeks. "Well it is a nice day, so that'd be fine."

It was only when she left to give me privacy that I realized what I'd just agreed to. Going on a picnic with her did interest me, but she hadn't mentioned anyone else coming with us. My stomach clenched.

Picking out a loose shirt with buttons and some jeans, I slid into my new outfit and grabbed my shoes. Trying hard not to feel self-conscious, I searched for Maka.

Soul and Blair were watching TV in the living room. Maka was in the kitchen. I told her I was ready and she asked me to carry the bottle of soda. Lifting a full picnic basket, she turned to me with gentle green eyes.

"You look nice," she said.

I gripped the soda firmly, looking down at her sandals. "Thanks."

We moved toward the front door, telling the others goodbye. Blair waved and wished us a good time.

We waited for Soul to say something. He studied us hard, as if concentrating on choosing his words carefully. At last he asked, "Is it a date?"

I stopped breathing. My hold on the bottle of soda tightened so much that it threatened to crush it.

Beside me, Maka turned in my direction, not saying anything. She didn't answer his question. She just looked at me like she wanted _me _to decide. Her eyes seemed to say, "Well? What do you think? It's up to you."

Everyone stared at me, waiting. I stood there stunned. It felt like I was in a room full of strangers. Or worse, a room full of creatures of a different species who only looked human. Aliens.

I shook my head inwardly, clearing my thoughts. Swallowing hard, I found my voice.

"No. We're just hanging out."

Not wanting to stay to see their reactions, I moved for the door. I walked down the hall, down the stairs, across the lobby, and out of the apartment building.

The sun showered the city in warmth. I walked a few seconds before stopping, remembering that I had no idea where I was going.

"It's this way, silly." Maka, who had been following me closely, headed the right way.

I hugged the soda to my chest and hoped I hadn't upset her. If I had, she hid it well. My legs moved slower than hers.

She noticed this, however, so she slowed down so we could walk side by side. Her empty hand twitched. Slowly, I lowered the soda bottle and carried it with one hand. She moved closer to me, carefully, and glanced at my face.

When I nodded, she smiled. Her hand reached for mine, our fingers touching each other lightly. They hesitated, played, danced. Hers curled in between mine, soft but steady. I relaxed and let mine grasp hers in a snug embrace.

I heard a small sound of rushing air. Maka was exhaling a gentle sigh. I took it as a sign that she was happy.

We walked on, passing a few citizens of Death City now and then. I'd held her hand in front of other people before, but it felt strange to do so now that I knew what she thought of me.

My heart sped up when we ran into Tsubaki and Black*Star. The four of us spent a few minutes making small talk—well, mostly I listened and wished for it to be over soon. I was keenly aware of Maka and I still holding hands.

The conversation finally wound down, but Tsubaki took note of our hands and clothes and picnic supplies. "Are you two going on a date?" she asked innocently.

Black*Star's mouth dropped open but no sound came out as he looked back and forth between Tsubaki and us.

Maka did the same thing she did before. Calmly, she turned her head to look at me. She wanted me to answer. Maybe she hoped that I'd changed my mind.

"_No_. We're just hanging out, that's _all_."

Fuming, I did the same thing I did before and stomped away, removing my hand from Maka's. I held the soda tightly again in both arms.

She caught up to me quickly like before but I was still irked. Why couldn't two people just go someplace and spend time together? We'd done it before. Just because we dressed up a little didn't mean anything.

The rest of the walk passed in silence. After I calmed down, I lowered my arms to let the soda swing by my side. I felt Maka touch my hand, so I touched back and held hers.

I stole a glance at her face but couldn't tell if she was angry about what I'd said. She didn't seem the least bit bothered. It made me feel worse somehow, even though she let me make the decision on my own. Even though my decision was final and there was no way I'd change my mind, I still felt I had to make it up to her.

We went to the wooded area near the academy where our group sometimes practiced the Soul Resonance Link. She led me to an open spot in front of a tree and started setting things out. I helped her with the blanket and the basket. When I opened the bottle of soda, she held out a plastic cup so I could fill it.

For a while I fidgeted and found it hard to keep eye contact with her for more than a few seconds. I became highly aware of every movement I made, from scratching an itch behind my ear to taking bites out of my BLT sandwich.

She asked me about the book I was reading earlier, making me feel a little better. Talking put me at ease and soon I was enjoying her presence as much as she enjoyed mine.

In between bites of celery, Maka told me I had some ranch dressing on my face. I reached for a napkin, but she beat me to it.

I stayed still as she wiped my mouth for me. She moved in close as she did, her hand pressing carefully. Judging from the way she smiled, she really liked doing this.

My eyes flickered to the dress she wore. It reminded me of what she said when she saw my change of clothes, so I decided I should give her a compliment too.

"I like how you look in that," I told her as she finished cleaning my face.

"Really?" she asked eagerly.

"Mm-hmm."

"Thank you." She drew herself up straight and tall, smoothing out the wrinkles on her lap. "I'm glad."

The stare she gave me then was intense, her smile almost mischievous. I quickly reached for my cup of soda to pretend I hadn't noticed.

After setting it down I looked at the tree beside me. Something was carved into its trunk. It was around the size of a fist, a heart with an arrow running through it. In the center a message was etched: _J + M_.

I stared at it curiously, wondering what it meant. Maybe it was some kind of code. Maybe Maka knew.

I pointed it out to her, watching her lean forward to take a look.

"They're initials," she said, cheeks coloring. "Sometimes a couple will carve the first letter of their names into a tree."

"Why?"

"It's like a symbol… It's just a way to show the world that they're together."

I studied the drawing, wondering who J and M were and whether they were still a couple.

Her eyes rested on me instead of the heart, her body still leaning forward. I looked at her face, saw that it was close enough to touch, then turned away.

"Sorry," she said quietly. She leaned back again. "It's just that I like looking at you. Your eyes are really pretty."

I realized at that moment that nobody ever offered me as many compliments as she had. She sounded like she really meant them all. If she thought my eyes were pretty, then she deserved to see them.

Digging my fingernails into the palms of my hands, I tried to force myself to raise my eyes. It was no easy task. My head felt stiff and something told me that observing the blanket beneath me was better.

I tried taking it one step at a time. I followed the blanket until I spotted Maka's legs, then traced them up to her stomach, then up along her arms until I reached her chin. I paused there to prepare for the rest. Moving my focus upward became easier when I let it happen slowly.

She showed me a smile. Her green eyes shimmered, putting the leaves and grass of the woods around us to shame. I didn't really understand why she thought my eyes were pretty, but I was glad that she was happy. I was also glad to be able to hold her gaze without looking away.

She brushed a strand of her hair aside. Just as I mulled over whether or not to ask her what she was thinking, she said the thing again.

"I love you, Crona."

Her smiling expression stayed the same as she spoke. The words flowed from her mouth as if it was second nature to her.

I felt sure that I understood what she meant this time. She loved me in a more-than-friends way. Otherwise, she would've told Tsubaki and Soul herself that we weren't going out on a date.

Knowing this made my heart drum against my chest. I knew that when someone said, "I love you," the other person was supposed to say, "I love you, too." But I couldn't say that to Maka because it wouldn't be right. I didn't want to give her the wrong idea.

Fumbling for a response, all that came out was, "Th-Thanks."

Her smile showed a hint of teeth as she leaned forward once more to give my hand a warm squeeze.

The picnic didn't end when the food ran out. We watched the scenery, talking occasionally about everything and nothing until the sky turned orange. I gave the carving on the tree one last look before we left, brushing it with my fingers.

We walked side by side toward home, holding hands the whole way.


	5. Tea Time

I lay awake in bed that night, thinking about Maka. Trying to figure out how I felt about her.

I cared about her, that much was certain. She was extremely important to me. Nothing could take her place. Nobody could compare to her, not even remotely.

But if she hadn't told me she loved me, I wouldn't be in this situation now. I would never have had to wonder if I wanted to be more than friends with her. I loved Maka, but I didn't know if I was _in _love with her. There had to be a difference; the hard part was figuring it out.

Or I could do nothing. That was always an option. An easy option.

She didn't invite me to do anything with her (where it was just the two of us) over the rest of the week. She still stared at me occasionally and offered me hugs that lasted longer than they usually did.

It slowly got easier, accepting the idea that she loved me more than anyone or anything else. I couldn't see why, but it was a comforting thought. I was glad to make her happy just by existing.

After a while I found it hard to stop thinking about her. When she needed help with something, I jumped in my hurry to volunteer. When she helped me with something, saying thank you while looking right in her eyes evolved into a simple feat.

I thought of the books she'd borrowed from the library to sort out her feelings. I thought maybe I should do the same. Plucking up my courage, I turned to Maka for advice.

She told me the books she read were all different and in the end she had to reach a conclusion on her own. I asked for the titles, seeing it wouldn't hurt to glance through them. The only one I remembered her having was _Famous Quotes From Famous People_.

"I chose that one just to see if there were any quotes about love in it. There's no advice… But you can borrow the book that I bought from the school when I accidentally ripped some pages out of it. Sound good for now?"

It did.

Before she went to get it, her eyes peered deeply into mine. "Crona," she said in an even voice. "You don't have to try to force yourself to love me back."

I blushed, my pulse accelerating, but nodded firmly. "I know."

She studied me briefly before leaving. I took a thick book from her hands when she returned. On the cover was the title, which read, _Love: What It Is and Why We Need It_.

I nearly dropped it on the floor. Shocked and embarrassed, I didn't expect to start off by diving right into the subject. A list and description of symptoms would've sufficed.

Still, I skimmed through its pages when I had free time. To my dismay, a lot of it was confusing. Words like _limerence _and _infatuation _made me stumble. It was a lot to take in. When I tried reading a whole chapter from beginning to end, I felt too overwhelmed to make it all the way through.

When I saw some pages taped in place, I thought fondly of Maka. Some parts were helpful and relatable. There was a piece that talked about wanting to spend time with a particular person for no reason other than to be in their presence. I understood that feeling.

Then there was the "Why" portion of the book. It stated that all people need to love at least one other person because it was a natural thing to do and essential to one's mental, emotional, and physical health. I didn't find it too convincing. Did it really apply to _everybody_? As I read, I wondered what Maka had thought when she reached this part.

I wondered if she had read every word of every book she'd borrowed. I wondered if anything she read confused her too or if she understood it all.

I decided to give the book back. It wasn't completely useless, but I still couldn't tell if I felt for her like she did for me. She told me to try not to stress over it. The answer, she said, would come in time and if it didn't, that was okay too.

* * *

-xoxo-

* * *

Maka and Soul were on another extracurricular assignment and wouldn't be back until dark. Blair was working, so that left just me and Ragnarok for the day.

We went on a walk toward Death City's downtown district. There was a music store there that Soul had shown us a few times. I liked putting on the headphones on display and browsing through all the different songs available. Ragnarok liked visiting the store too—He'd put on a pair of headphones to listen to just one genre of music, which I later learned was metal. Sometimes he'd listen to the same song over and over and would have to be forcibly pried away from the headphones when it was time to leave.

The sun shone brightly down on us as we made our way. I smiled at how quiet and not-too-crowded the district was today.

A line of shops flanked either side of me. Ahead a stand-up signboard caught my eye. It promoted a new menu item for the tea shop next to it: strawberry kiwi tea. A picture showed a strawberry and a kiwi floating above a steaming white cup on a doily.

I stopped in front of the sign, wondering what strawberry kiwi tea tasted like. Turning toward the shop, I immediately caught a whiff of coffee, tea, and fresh-baked pastries coming from the open door.

"Oh no you don't," Ragnarok scolded, twisting my head forward again. "Keep walking. If you want a cup of tea so bad, we can get one for free from Marie on the way back."

I moved on but could still smell the inviting aromas of the tea shop. Maybe Marie could make us some strawberry kiwi tea later. I knew she'd be happy to see us stop by for a surprise visit.

At the music store, Ragnarok chose a heavy metal song and listened to it over and over again. His tiny fists bumped against my head in time with the beat. Loud and wild music wasn't my thing. Opera music filled my ears instead, somber yet intense.

Morning turned into midday by the time we left. Professor Stein's home waited on the outskirts of the city, but I suspected Marie-sensei was there by herself. Like me, she often found herself with a lot more free time than the ones closest to her.

She didn't have strawberry kiwi tea. I was welcome to have other flavors, which I did, though I couldn't help feeling disappointed. The new drink sounded unique and delicious…

"So how have you been, Crona?"

I swallowed a few drops of black tea. "Good," I answered, but it felt like a lie. Thoughts of Maka swam around in my head.

Marie-sensei set her cup down on the table and folded her hands over her lap. She was like Maka in some ways: always willing to listen, gifted with an ability to sense when something troubled me.

Rubbing my thumbs against my own cup, I peered into the deep dark liquid. It would be nice if a message appeared in it, telling me whether I loved Maka or not. A simple _yes _or _no _was all I wanted.

"I have a question…" I started, still looking at my tea as though I were speaking to it. Since Marie-sensei was older and smarter than me, she probably knew about a lot of things from experience. She could help.

"Ask away, sweetie."

My hands tensed. Carefully, I took another gulp of tea. The warmth slid down my throat and nestled in my stomach.

I wiped my mouth with the back of one hand. Keeping my eyes lowered, I asked, "How can you tell… when you… like someone?"

There was silence. I squeezed the cup tightly as I waited.

"Do you mean seeing someone as more than a friend?"

I nodded, hanging my head down further.

"Love?"

I nodded again, blushing deeply.

"Well… I don't think there's a universal checklist or anything—"

I raised my head, disappointed, face still burning.

"—but I do know that when you're in love, it's hard to see anything else but that person. They stand out apart from everyone else and they occupy your mind a lot." She paused for a moment to smile and her eyes seemed to glaze over. "Sometimes you do crazy things to get their attention… Your heart beats fast when they look at you… You'd do anything to make them happy and sometimes you even think about marrying them…"

She trailed off, sitting and reflecting at empty space. Lost in her own thoughts, it was as if I was no longer there.

She stirred only when I raised my cup of tea to my lips. "Did that help?" she asked.

I paused, then lowered the cup without taking a sip. "A little…"

She made a small disappointed hum in her throat, then studied me wordlessly for a long time. I felt like I was being scanned by her one visible eye.

I squirmed in my seat, hoping she wouldn't ask me something personal. Although it would probably help her help me, I didn't want to reveal just yet that it was Maka I liked.

"This is a first for you, isn't it, Crona?"

"Huh?"

"You've never thought about these kinds of things before, have you?" Her voice was gentle, speaking so softly that I didn't tense up at all. Her words were immersed in compassion and I realized how lucky I was to know her.

So I nodded, feeling my face cool down.

"Maybe you'll figure things out if you look at it this way," she said, smoothing out her lap. "Everyone has different ideas and experiences, but I just thought of one that might apply to you. Let's say there are many people that you hold dear to your heart."

I sat up straighter, thinking of Maka, Soul, and the rest of my friends.

"Now let's say most of them can be grouped into categories—family, friends, close friends, partners, acquaintances… even pets could be there too. But then there's someone who stands out to you so much that they can't be grouped. They hold a very special place in your heart. They're so precious to you that they need a category all their own, just one with their name on it because they can't compare to anyone else."

My eyes widened as I pictured it. There was Maka, with her own space in my heart… and in my mind, for that matter, since I'd been thinking of her constantly. My soul, too, held a place that was just for her. And then there was everyone else. They all mattered to me, but Maka was unique. Maybe I was in love with her after all.

"Sorry if that's confusing." Marie-sensei touched one of her temples and rubbed it nervously. "Maybe an explanation like that is too simple or maybe you just don't label things like—"

"No, I think it makes sense." The only thing confusing to me was how calm I felt. I thought I would feel different somehow, strange, if I ever learned that I did see Maka as more than a friend. After all, she behaved unusually after discovering her feelings. Maybe everyone reacted in their own way?

"Really? That's good—So did I help you with your problem?"

"Yes."

"You figured out whether you love him—or her—or them?"

"Y-Yeah."

"Is the answer yes?"

"Um." I hesitated for a moment, then chugged the rest of my tea in one gulp. Thrusting the empty cup toward her, I asked, "Can I have some more, please?"

"Oh, alright," she sighed, but smiled as she did. "Well, I'm glad I could help you out. I hope things work out for you."

Little did she know the person in question had already set up my own little space inside her heart.

* * *

-xoxo-

* * *

I still wanted to try strawberry kiwi tea, which was how I got the idea. It felt odd asking Maka to do something with me since she was usually the one to invite me. I did plan on confessing to her, but the thought of actually going through with it daunted me, even though I loved her and she loved me.

Things would be very different if I confessed. Very new and overwhelming.

She agreed to come with me, but the lighthearted feeling in my chest disappeared after we got ready. As we headed for the door, calling out our goodbyes, Blair decided to ask loudly, "Are you guys going out on a date?"

Maka held the door open for me as I answered automatically. "N-No, we're not."

Blair frowned, her golden eyes glaring.

To my surprise, Maka spoke up. "We're just hanging out for a while."

My jaw dropped, but she just winked at me and grinned.

The walk to the tea shop was quiet but comfortable. I somehow managed to work up the strength to reach for her hand first. She accepted, even letting my fingers wiggle their way between hers.

The little signboard still stood by the shop, so I knew the tea would be there… assuming they hadn't run out.

Inside, the place was cozy and empty. The back wall was made of glass, looking out into a patio. Above our heads, the ceiling fans turned leisurely.

We were alone, so we waited in front of the counter. Soon a waitress appeared, eagerly clutching two menus and inviting us to sit wherever we liked.

Maka wanted to sit out on the patio, so we headed toward the back of the room. It was only a little bigger than the inside, with flowerbeds bordering the edges and a couple of benches in front of a tiny pond. A stream of water flowed from the beak of a flamingo statue.

Tables dotted the patio, each topped with a vase of flowers. I wondered if I should pull out Maka's chair for her, but she moved ahead of me and seated herself.

We didn't order anything fancy or filling, just some salad and their new tea. Even though she'd never tried it, Maka had a good idea of what the tea would be like, since she'd tasted both strawberries and kiwis before.

"Crona?" she asked while we waited. "Did you want to come here today for the tea or to spend time with me?"

I knew my answer right away, but I wasn't sure if this was some kind of test. The latter seemed more like the "correct" choice, but the truth was both. Did she want what I was supposed to say or did she want the truth?

"Both," I said and watched for her face to fall, but it didn't, not even for a moment. I made a mental note to myself to always be honest with her and not just tell her what I thought she wanted to hear.

When our orders arrived, we both immediately took a sip of tea and immediately liked it. The sweet fruity flavor went nicely with the crisp vegetables in our salads. It was refreshing. Both of us needed a refill in no time.

We ended up deciding to order some dessert, too. The two of us shared a short, fat, chocolatey brownie before the waitress showed up with the bill.

Maka covered her mouth with a napkin, eyes never leaving the small piece of paper.

Having forgotten to tell her I'd planned on paying, I quickly assured her it was my treat. After all, _I_ invited her to do something with me this time instead of the other way around.

With that resolved, I thought it was time to go home but she wanted to stay a little longer.

It was the patio. She liked it so much she wanted to sit with me out here some more. We walked over to one of the benches in front of the pond. She said we were lucky to have the whole area to ourselves. Not only were our surroundings nice to look at, but it was quiet too.

That was my favorite part—the calm and silent ambiance. Sitting close to Maka as we watched water spill from the flamingo statue was a bonus.

She touched my arm and leaned back in her seat, letting her legs stretch out. Smiling, she asked if I thought she'd get in trouble if she got caught putting her feet in the pond.

Unsure if she was being serious, I shrugged my shoulders with a small crooked smile. My hands clasped over each other.

She looked at me and made a soft hum in her throat. "You're cute, did you know that?"

I blushed, unsure of how to answer that either. The urge to squirm in place overpowered me.

"Sorry," she said. "Do you not like it when I give you compliments out of the blue?"

I calmed myself by taking a slow, deep breath. Then I met her eyes and gave her the truth. "I'm not used to it yet, b-but I like it when you're being yourself. And they… sort of… make me feel… happy…"

She didn't say anything, but gently rubbed my arm. She did this at just the right pace for me to relax. I let my arms hang loosely and leaned back against the bench like her.

My legs stretched out as we continued to enjoy the scenery. Sometimes I snuck glimpses at her and found she was doing the same, which made us grin.

The tenth time it happened, she flashed a smile and spoke. "I love you."

The world halted for me. Maybe she meant it casually, but I always took it seriously. I remembered how I was supposed to confess and now seemed like as good a time as any.

"I…"

It sounded as if I was choking, but somehow it was distinguishable. The first word made it out, but now I faltered. My voice trembled, struggled weakly, and died.

Before my body could seize up, I noticed Maka doing something different. She turned her body, ever so slightly, towards me. Her eyes closed.

She moved her head forward, closer to mine. All I could see was her face. Her pink lips pressed together.

Instinctively, I covered my face with both hands and slouched my upper body as far away from hers as it could go. I began shaking like a frightened rabbit. My thoughts raced even faster than my heart. _Was she about to…? Just now, was she—? Did she just try to kiss me?_

"Crona?"

Her voice sounded more apologetic than hurt. I peeked through my fingers, catching fragments of the pale skin and sweat on her face. Though scared, I let my hands slide all the way down to my chin.

"Are you okay?"

I didn't know how to answer this one either. Some of me was alright, some of me wasn't, and some of me just didn't know. I blinked at her, which was a lame reply.

"Stupid," she muttered, scrunching her eyes and pressing a fist against her forehead. She didn't mean me, but I still felt bad.

I watched her chew her lip. Maybe the fact of it was we were both screw-ups, but at least I could try to make things right.

The question that came out of my mouth, though, surprised even me. "Why do you love me?"

She sat still and stunned for a moment. Frowning, she lowered her fist away from her head and stared at me.

I couldn't help wondering if she was angry, but when she answered, her tone was very matter-of-fact.

"Because you're so important to me and I feel such a strong bonding to all of you, the whole you. I don't want to be with anyone else. It's as simple as that."

I gulped. My face felt uncomfortably hot, but I ignored it. "When did you realize…?"

To my surprise, she broke into a shy smile and even let out a laugh. "It was on the anniversary of you living with us for a year. Remember when we were watching TV and you started laughing at that old show? I never really noticed how sweet you look when you laugh, but I felt something back then. I really, really like the way you laugh. And it doesn't happen that much, so I guess that makes it twice as special."

She paused for a second to fix a stray strand of her hair. "I felt odd ever since, so I did all I could to figure things out. So… yeah."

She seemed to be in a good mood and it helped me stop worrying as well.

"Can I ask you a question, too?" she asked.

I nodded and steeled myself to actually answer this time instead of just shrugging or blinking.

"I'm probably pushing my luck, but do you feel the same as I do?"

I understood instantly. Here I was planning on confessing to her and now she made it easy for me. I didn't have to bring it up myself. My head bounded up and down in a nod before I could even think of what to say out loud.

Her eyes grew shiny, but her smile was small. "What do you think of me?"

"I…" I stopped, cleared my throat, and started again. "I think you're perfect. I mean, not like faultless or anything but I care for you so much that you have your own space in my heart that's just for you."

The moment I said that, I feared she'd have no clue what I was talking about. I tapped my fingertips together, feeling embarrassed, but she didn't seem the least bit puzzled. She thanked me instead.

Still tapping my fingertips, I forced out a new question. "Are we more than friends now?"

"I'd like it a lot if we were."

Suddenly I felt unworthy. I dropped my line of sight down to my lap. She was placing the decision on me. Such a big choice. And I still didn't know much about being more than friends with someone. "Can I still think of you as my friend even though we'd be more?"

"Of course."

The tapping slowed. I wanted to be with her and she wanted to be with me. I still had doubts, but if it was Maka, then it shouldn't be that difficult. She was kind, patient, and understanding.

The tapping stopped. "Okay," I said. "Let's be more."

Her mouth opened like she wanted to speak but nothing came out. All at once she fell forward, wrapping her arms around me.

Wordlessly, I hugged her back. What could have been a tender moment was broken quickly when she decided to ask one final question.

"So does this count as a date?"

I shook my head, face reheating. "N-Not yet…"

* * *

-xoxo-

* * *

That night, I stood facing the mirror in the bathroom, preparing to brush my teeth. The door was closed and I had just finished squeezing out the toothpaste when I heard a knock. I turned the knob, thinking someone urgently needed to relieve themselves.

It was Maka, dressed in her pajamas. Her unhurried demeanor showed she wasn't having an emergency.

"Are you done brushing your teeth?" she asked.

"No," I said, silently adding that if I was done I wouldn't still be in here.

"Good, can I brush mine with you?"

"I… Sure?"

"Thanks. I should've thought of this sooner, actually. It saves time so I won't have to wait anymore."

She practically glided inside, closing the door behind her.

I moved over to give her room. She reached for her toothbrush as I placed mine in my mouth.

I'd never shared a bathroom sink with anyone before except Ragnarok. And that was something I'd made him do not long after we'd moved in. No matter how much he insisted he didn't need to do things like bathe or brush his teeth, I still felt it was something he should start doing. I managed to get him to try a few times but now he only did so when he felt like it.

It was surprising to see Maka spit into the sink. It felt out of place somehow. Not exactly gross, but I never thought of her doing things like that before. I felt self-conscious when it was my turn to lean down and spit, but she made no big deal out of it.

The room was full of swishing sounds with the occasional turning of the faucet. After about a minute, I noticed something that caused my arms to freeze mid-stroke.

It was the mirror, the reflections in it. My eyes grew wide.

Maka saw my frozen form and raised her eyebrows at me in confusion.

I kept my eyes glued to the mirror, then slowly took my toothbrush out. I leaned down, spat, then straightened up to concentrate on the reflections again.

At last I said dazedly, "We look good."

I'm not much to look at alone, but seeing myself beside Maka was different. The two of us together, side by side, was a wonderful sight. We shared next to nothing in common physically, but somehow we fitted together there in the mirror. We looked right. Our reflection was simple and plain, yet it was hard to pull my eyes away.

On one side, hair like lavender. On the other, hair like sand. Eyes of navy blue with eyes of forest green. Lanky and pale with slim and fair. We were beautiful together.

Maka spat and studied our reflection too. "Yup," she agreed. "If you like how we look now, wait until we get a professional to take our picture."

The corners of my lips curled up at that. There weren't that many photos of just the two of us, so I imagined one shot by an expert would be something to cherish. Maybe I could even get one small enough to paste in my journal.

After we finished brushing and wiping our mouths dry, we showed each other our clean teeth and went to bed, hugging each other good night.


	6. Little by Little

As time passed, Maka and I did more things together. She was moderate in how often she asked if we were out on a date, but I still denied it each time.

One step at a time. It was exciting yet still weird to think of her as my girlfriend.

I took to writing about us in my journal. On one page I kept a list of my shortcomings. I placed tick marks next to the things I knew I was supposed to do that she wanted, but hadn't yet. Each mark represented the number of times I failed to do what I was supposed to.

_Admit we are on a date. Say, "I love you too." Kiss._

So far, I missed out on admitting we were dating for a total of eight times, ever since Soul first asked when we went on that picnic. She had said "I love you" three times in all, ever since that day in the infirmary. I watched her lean in to kiss me only twice, once by the pond at the tea shop and once when we were saying good night. Strangely, both instances seemed like accidents, as if she tried to put her lips on mine without even realizing it.

I had a lot to learn. At first I thought since she and I were more than friends, we had to have fun in different places every time we went somewhere together. But I found out there was nothing wrong with doing the same thing again or going to the same place. Even something as simple as going up to the roof of the apartment building to watch the sunset was okay.

The first time we went to the roof, we held hands as we sat near the ledge. Sometimes we talked but mostly we enjoyed each other's company in silence.

Sitting quietly with her was usually comfortable, but when she loosened her grip on my hand, I knew something was wrong. I looked at her, but she stared straight ahead. Her fingers lay lifelessly in my grasp.

Cautiously, I asked if she was alright.

"Yeah," she replied, her voice light. "I'm just thinking."

"You look sad."

She shook her head and turned her eyes toward me. "I'm curious about something."

I cringed. Somehow I knew it was about me.

Her hand returned to life and gave mine a gentle squeeze. "Should I stop trying to kiss you?"

Sometimes I found it unbelievable how easily she could say things like "love" and "kiss" out loud, without a single blush or stammer. Or maybe I was the only person in the world who'd think that way.

"No," I told her. The truth was I wanted to try it someday, but I wasn't ready yet. And it felt right for her to be the one to initiate it, at least for our first time. "If you don't lean in, then I might never try."

She pondered this for a moment, then nodded. "Okay, but I want you to know I love you no matter what you do or don't do. Understand?"

My heart battered so fast I was scared it would burst. Kissing was something we were supposed to do, but here she was, telling me I didn't have to. And she'd be okay with that. She'd still want to be more than friends anyway.

It was enough to make my eyes water, but I rubbed them with my free arm before it got worse. "Thank you, Maka… I know you deserve better."

"Hey," she snapped, giving my knuckles a mild slap. "You've still got that journal I gave you, right?"

"Y-Yes…?"

"Remember what I said back then? Anytime you think badly of yourself, you never write it down. You talk to me instead. Remember that?"

"Oh… Right."

"You haven't been writing down on yourself, have you?"

"N-No, just other things, honest."

She grinned. "Good." Taking both my hands in hers, she peered in my eyes and said, "I think you're more than good enough for me, Crona. Maybe I'm the one who doesn't deserve you, ever thought of that?"

The idea was so crazy I just gaped at her. My astonished face made her giggle.

The sky darkened more and more as the sun sank lower and lower. The colors were beautiful, but we had a hard time focusing on them. The lights in Maka's eyes were fun to watch. We played several rounds of unofficial staring contests, and I won most of them.

Before we went back inside, I had to answer another question.

"Is it alright if I gave you a kiss on other places? Like the cheek or forehead?"

I fidgeted, not from nerves but from bashfulness. It _did _sound easy enough to deal with. It sounded nice.

"Okay," I said quietly. "Um, can I do that for you too?"

"Sure. You don't have to ask to do things like that with me. I'm pretty much okay with almost anything."

Then she leaned in and kissed me on one cheek, then the other.

My whole body glowed with a warmth that made me want to cover my cheeks, but I resisted.

* * *

-xoxo-

* * *

The clock read half past eleven when Maka, Soul, Blair, and I arrived home one night. We'd just returned from a movie marathon party at Kid's mansion. Blair and Soul were the only ones who knew about Maka and I being a couple, and it made me happy to see them keep quiet about it. Sometimes I caught Blair squirming in place at the party like she wanted to blurt the secret out to all our friends, but she managed to hold herself back the whole time.

I retired to my room after bidding everyone good night. I slipped into my pajamas, turned off the light, and crawled into bed. Thin strips of moonlight lay sprawled on my covers.

I wasn't sleepy, even though I wanted to be. Last night I had a dream with Maka in it that ended when I woke up, before I could find out what happened next. The chances of me falling asleep tonight and continuing the dream from where it left off weren't high, but I hoped it'd happen anyway.

I lay still with my eyes closed, though it was no use. I wasn't the least bit tired.

Annoyed, I sat up and crawled closer to the window. With one arm, I undid the blinds. The moon hung motionless in the sky with its usual grin. The strips of moonlight became one thick patch over me and the covers.

I tried to look for stars. I'd heard that people made wishes on them, so I wanted to find one and wish for my dream of Maka to continue tonight. All I found was the blinking light of a passing airplane.

Soft knocking sounded on my door, so soft that at first I thought I was hearing things.

I closed the blinds and turned the light on to show I was awake.

The knob turned carefully and half of Maka's face peeked in. Slowly, she pushed the door open to let herself inside. She closed the door with the same amount of care so as not to make noise.

"Hi," I said, keeping my voice down. It was past midnight now; the others were probably sound asleep.

"Hi." She smiled, tugging on the sleeve of her pajama top. "Mind if I sit with you?"

I didn't. I gladly made room for her on the bed, where she sat facing me.

"I didn't wake you up, did I?"

I shook my head. "I couldn't sleep because I don't feel tired at all. How about you?"

For some reason, she fidgeted. "Well… I missed you."

I frowned, not expecting that. It was a shame she couldn't sleep because of me, but I also didn't understand how she could miss me when we'd spent the whole day together. To make her feel better, I held onto her hands.

She gasped softly, curling the corners of her mouth. "Crona… Would you like to cuddle with me?"

Despite the hope in her voice, I felt no pressure. She'd love me no matter what I did or didn't do, whether I was ready or not ready, whether I said yes or no. I asked myself if I should add cuddling to the list in my journal, but no sooner had I thought it than the answer came to me. I wanted to try it. Something about the late night hour and the familiarity of my room got to me, made me feel trusting and safe.

"Okay," I said, nodding. It also helped that the light was on so I could see her completely.

She inched forward to rest her head on my shoulder, wrapping her arms snug around my waist. Having her all gathered up in a cozy hug bested finding a star to wish on. After this, I was sure to dream sweetly tonight.

My fingers stroked her hair as she nuzzled against me. A sense of ease dwelled inside me. My mouth let out even, soothing breaths. She felt silky soft. A faint trace of honey-like shampoo drifted under my nose.

I rubbed her back next, enjoying how she leaned against me more. Sitting with and holding her felt like being in a sanctuary. She moved slowly, as if she knew I'd be calmer that way. There were no sudden movements, so it was nice.

Aside from the two of us, the room was still. The quiet made me believe she and I were the only people awake in the whole city.

She murmured compliments one after the other while I blushed. One of my fingers wandered into her hair as I listened to what she thought of me. According to her, I was the sweetest, most amazing person she'd ever met.

My finger found a strip of her hair to twirl around. I was gentle, she whispered, and kindhearted. My eyes were liquid gems, my hair was rose-colored thread, my hands were like fine china, and my heart was treasure. It sounded like poetry; I'd almost forgotten she liked to write poems.

The moment broke with a hiss and an utterance of pain. I'd twisted her hair too tight by mistake.

Her body tensed, but she kept telling me it was alright as I squeaked multiple apologies. Trying not to panic, I struggled to relax my finger enough to untangle it from her hair.

Once free, she smoothed the top of her head. I squeaked again, feeling horrible for letting myself get distracted.

"No harm done," she insisted, smiling amiably.

I started to hunch my shoulders and rub my hands together in a fret, but she took them both and kissed the center knuckles. Beneath the warmth of her mouth, I relaxed at once.

We fell into our snuggle again as though the interruption never happened. I took care to pet her hair properly and the incident soon vanished from my mind. She wasn't leaning against me this time. She sat before me, watching as I stroked her soft locks. I, too, watched her as she ran her hands up and down my sides and back.

I couldn't tell if the droop of her eyelids meant she was getting tired or if it meant she was fully at peace. Either way, her face was pretty. I chanced to touch it as well; she let me.

Her cheeks felt smooth under my fingertips. The tip of her chin was firm, but just underneath was soft. I scratched it lightly and her head tilted upward in response.

Her hands slowly stopped rubbing me and stilled. Her eyes closed fully as I continued to scratch her lower jaw. Gradually, I lessened it to a mild tickle that made her smile. When I finished, she blew out a breath of relief as her head straightened again.

I wondered if she was ticklish anywhere in particular, but before I could guess, she decided to tickle my jaw too. All her fingers on one hand wiggled across my skin like an excited caterpillar. Startled, it was all I could do to keep from gasping aloud.

Noticing my wide eyes, Maka slowed down. Instead of my head tilting up like hers had, it drooped down lower, trapping her fingertips between my chin and my chest. Even so, she continued to tickle as best she could while I squirmed. I wasn't scared or uncomfortable, but my eyes squeezed shut on their own. Raspy sounds of laughter escaped my throat—I tried holding them back so they wouldn't be too loud.

By the time the tickling stopped and I opened my eyes, she was grinning. Breathing fast, I felt like collapsing onto her shoulder. I didn't know cuddling could be a tiring experience.

Maka leaned into me to give me a hug. "I like when you laugh, but it's cute when you try not to."

My arms enveloped her in a snug clasp. My breathing returned to normal as I kept her pressed against me.

We didn't move for so long that I felt myself nodding off. Maka's arms were comfortable enough to fall asleep in. Her pajamas were soft and warm enough to be blankets.

A sudden thought entered my mind then. Did she want to spend the rest of the night here? Did she want to sleep next to me?

I pulled back to find her still awake. She viewed me with half-lidded eyes. I stared back, believing it'd be okay if she wanted to stay.

Beads of sweat dotted her forehead. Maybe it was because the light was on and making my room warm, or maybe because she was feeling nervous about staying. I raised a hand and carefully wiped the sweat off for her. Her eyes closed and her face moved closer.

Oh. I realized she was trying to kiss again.

My chest tightened, but I held fast and told myself to remain calm. My heart beat fiercely because it sensed something new, different, and unknown was going to happen. _It'll be alright_, I told it. _I'm safe with her._

The panic remained, but I did my best to ignore it. Closing my eyes seemed like a good way to focus, so I did that. A curtain of black engulfed me and it helped, somewhat. I pictured Maka, thought of all she meant to me, breathed, and leaned forward.

"BLAIR!"

An angry voice cracked out like a whip, snapping me out of my focus. The two of us jumped, our eyes stretched wide and round.

Soul's voice floated through the walls. He didn't shout again, but he spoke loud in annoyance. "Blair, what are you doing in my bed?!"

We heard the cat's voice answer in false innocence. "I saw Maka sneak into Crona's room, so I thought we could sleep in the same bed, too…"

"If you're in heat, go outside."

"No!"

"Get _out _of my room!"

A swish of cloth, an upset mewl, a door clicking open, and a scuttle of feet. Maka and I held our breaths, waiting. The silence weighed heavily around us until we heard Soul's door click shut.

I rubbed the back of my head, frowning and flushing.

"Well…" Maka breathed. "That was…" She left the phrase unfinished.

My eyes concentrated on my lap. An uneasy silence fell on us and stayed until I worked up the courage to ask, "Did you want to sleep by me or go back to your room?"

"I want to stay, if that's alright."

I nodded, and we called it a night. I pulled back the covers and let her pick which side she wanted to lie on. After turning off the light, we settled close to each other, face to face.

"Good night, Crona."

"Good night, Maka."

"I love you."

"I… I… y-yeah."

Her teeth peeked out between her lips in a small grin. Then she closed her eyes and snuggled into my pillow.

I stared at her from where I lay on my own side. She looked beautiful as she rested in the dark with traces of moonlight on her.

A twinge of guilt hit my stomach. This was better than continuing a dream about her, but I knew what would come tomorrow. I would have to make not one but two marks in my journal. The chance to kiss her and say I loved her happened in one night. That made a total of three failed kisses and four failed attempts to reply to "I love you" properly.

The following morning, after a Maka-less dreaming session, she sensed I was feeling a little down. To cheer me up, she told me we could all do whatever I wanted for the whole day. I could pick what to eat, what to do, where to go, anything.

Ragnarok commented on how lucky I should consider myself for having a girlfriend who'd turn into an ass-kisser just because I was moody. He stayed within me most of that day though, because Maka kept trying to force him to participate. Blair was away at the club she worked at, but Soul didn't mind letting me make all the decisions for a day.

I was put on the spot, but it was more shocking to see how far Maka would go just for my sake. I must have been really important to her—but then, I understood the feeling.

That day turned out to be a great pick-me-up. I felt like visiting a library, so we did. I wanted to go window-shopping later and we did. We ate pasta for dinner and baked cupcakes for dessert. That night I picked out a book I liked and we took turns reading a chapter out loud to one another.

It really helped take my mind off the marks in my journal. Maybe I'd fail some more, but that didn't mean Maka would stop loving me. I supposed that was true for a lot of things. It was likely I'd make more mistakes in the future, but everyone would still be there for me.

A few nights later, Maka knocked softly on my door again. She wanted to cuddle, so we did. She whispered sweet words to me and didn't mind that I was quiet.

I tried putting her hands to my lips to practice kissing for real. They tasted like Maka, both the backs and the palms. Dry and smooth and warm. She murmured she loved me, but I mumbled gibberish. Mark number five.

I let her stay overnight like before. We cuddled while lying stretched out until our eyes grew too tired.

She visited me in the middle of the night more frequently afterward. We tried snuggling in the dark, with no lights on, and liked it. With her delicate touch, I wasn't afraid. She showered me with poetic compliments and closed-lip kisses under the blankets, telling me to let her know if I ever felt too uncomfortable.

"And if you can't speak up, just tap me on the shoulder."

I only had to do that once, when she kissed my face and started moving down to my neck. It felt so sensitive there that my voice froze. I tapped her shoulder and she just went back to my face without batting an eye. She was wonderful.

Sometimes I'd wake up next to no one because she was already up and cooking breakfast. Usually she slept by my side or she'd lie awake, looking at me or at something in my room.

"Good morning," she'd usually say when I first saw her face in the morning. One day though, she greeted me with a different pair of words. "Three months."

I blinked sleepily, sitting up and rubbing an eye.

"Three months," she repeated cheerfully. "We've been more than friends for that long now."

I gently gripped an arm. "We have?" I asked, not knowing whether that was very long or not.

"Mm-hmm. Our anniversary is officially on the day we had strawberry kiwi tea at that café." She moved close to me and hugged me from behind. "I know it hasn't been long, but I'd celebrate every day if I could. I'm so glad we're together."

I touched her hands. "Me too, Maka." So our anniversary was when we tried the new tea. I had to remember that and do something special for her if a year arrived.

Wait, make that _when _a year arrived. In the meantime I wanted to relax and enjoy each day with her.

We didn't do anything extraordinary for our three-month anniversary, but something momentous happened that day. The two of us decided to go on a walk and along the way we ran into Liz and Patty.

They were on their way to a salon and invited us to go with them. Maka glanced at me, saw my shoulders tense, and declined the sisters' offer. "Thanks, but maybe next time."

"Where are you guys off to?" the eldest asked.

"Nowhere, we're just going for a walk around the city," Maka explained as I nodded in agreement.

"Just walking around? Yeah, today's pretty nice for it I guess. Wait, just the two of you?" Liz's gaze suddenly fell to our hands, which were fastened together.

It was too late for me to let go. Both sisters were staring now, so pretending we hadn't been holding hands this whole time would be pointless.

I swallowed, then answered before Maka could. "Yes. Just us."

They raised their eyebrows, quizzical expressions fixed on their faces. Patty's mouth opened, but Liz beat her to speaking. "So… Are you guys on a date?"

It had been a while since I'd heard this question, but somehow I expected it. I wasn't completely taken by surprise now. I glanced at my beloved, saw her smile at me, and admitted it at last. "Yes."

I watched their jaws hang—even Maka's, though she recovered the fastest and beamed in pleasant surprise. To make it clear to everyone, including myself, I went on. "We're dating. Maka and I are going out now."

"Like… going _out_, going out?" Patty blurted, arms dangling at her sides.

"Y-Yeah."

She drew in her breath long and sharp, then covered her lips with her fingertips. Eyes growing, she looked as if we were discussing something major and taboo.

I felt Maka squeeze my hand encouragingly. I knew she was happy for me. Now that I actually did what I was nervous about doing, I found out it wasn't as bad as I'd thought. Maybe it was because it was Liz and Patty. Their reactions weren't as scary as they could've been. My heart still raced, but holding onto Maka felt like grasping a protective shield.

Liz lifted her chin and smirked. "For how long, exactly?"

"Exactly three months today," Maka piped up.

"Three _months_? Weeks I can believe, but _months_?" Liz crossed her arms. "And you're just now telling us? Why the big secret?"

"Hey, it's not like we _had _to tell anyone. Crona wasn't ready for any of you guys to know, that's all. Aside from you two, the only ones who know are Soul and Blair."

"Really?" Liz's manner eased up again as she unfolded her arms. "Oh, but don't tell me you guys told us just so we could keep it quiet! I don't think I can do it!"

Patty giggled. "Yeah, you know how big of a mouth Sis has!"

Maka rolled her eyes and began to speak, but I interrupted.

"You can tell the others if you want."

Both sisters let out a noise somewhere between a gasp and a squeal. Liz squeaked out, "Thank you!" and seemed so excited that Patty laughed more and called her silly.

Maka addressed me in a low voice. "Are you sure?"

I nodded. "I'm alright with it now. It's okay if our friends know."

Her face relaxed and her eyes brightened.

Liz and Patty continued toward the salon, wanting to leave us alone for now. Before they left, both of them said in unison, "Congratulations!"

It caught me off-guard. I didn't understand why they congratulated us. For being together? For being in love? It did make us happy, but it seemed odd to treat our feelings for each other as some kind of showy accomplishment.

Even so, we resumed our walk with higher spirits than before. I held my head a little higher from then on.

That evening we hugged each other good night and I added a kiss on her nose.

My heart leapt once I was in my bedroom. My journal! I remembered the page recording my failures. Today marked a success because I finally admitted that Maka and I were on a date.

I made an accidental scribble on the paper in my hurry to write. Next to the line _Admit we are on a date _were eight tick marks. I wrote down the number nine beside them and circled it. I put down the day's date underneath the circle as an extra measure.

My smile was so great my cheeks ached. One down, two to go.


	7. Love, Dating, and Kissing

"So how far have you two—"

"_Maka_—"

"Wait, I was joking!"

"—_Chop_!"

The smoking dent in Black*Star's head made it clear to everyone not to ask anything too personal about Maka and me. After we told Liz and Patty about us being together, it wasn't long before the rest of our friends knew about it. In fact, it wasn't that long before it seemed half the academy knew.

I was walking down the halls when Marie-sensei marched right up to me and gave me a tight, long-lasting hug.

"I'm so happy for you both," she whispered.

Then there was the time I overheard some students talking.

One said, "I want to ask Soul out, but I'm worried Maka will find out and get mad."

Another replied, "No she won't. Didn't you hear? She's dating Crona now."

"No way!"

"It's true—I heard it too."

"Ha! I'll give them a couple of weeks. A month, tops."

A crazy part of me wanted to stand in front of them and shout, "Too late! It's been three months, going on four!" and then run away cackling like an idiot. But I didn't.

Soon after it got out that we were a couple, Maka made a decision. One day during lunch she told me to come with her.

I let her lead me by the hand through the academy until we stopped at a door with a sign hanging over it that read, "Teachers' Lounge."

Maka put her hand on the doorknob while turning her head toward me. "I don't want him to hear from someone else and get the wrong idea, so I'm going to introduce you to my father. Okay?"

At first I was confused because I'd already met Spirit, but I quickly realized she meant to introduce me as her official sweetheart. I nodded, feeling nervous at not knowing how he'd take it.

She opened the door and we stepped inside. The room was large but homey. Furniture made of dark oak filled every angle. There was a fresh scent of bread in the air. A handful of faculty members walked about or were seated at small tables or couches, eating bagels or conversing about classes.

In the back, Spirit stood in front of a tall bookshelf with a wavy-haired woman. He seemed to be blocking her way and as we drew nearer, we discovered he was trying to find a book for her.

The lady kept insisting she could find it quicker than him if he would only let her.

"Nonsense! As a Death Scythe, I know this school like the back of my hand. I'll get your book in a jiffy… What was the title again?"

"Ahem!"

Maka's hold on my hand tightened as she waited for her father to notice her. She tapped her foot impatiently.

Spirit jumped, knowing full well he'd been caught stepping out of line again. "M-Maka! What brings you here?"

"I have to tell you something, Papa. It's urgent."

He pouted, glanced wistfully at the wavy-haired lady, and sighed. "Alright. Anything for you, pumpkin."

He followed us to a more secluded part of the lounge. From the corner of my eye, I saw the woman take a book from the shelf and head for a table on the other side of the room.

Spirit gave me a puzzled look and asked Maka what was wrong.

"Well… You see… I'm dating someone."

He froze on the spot. His face was expressionless at first, then scrunched up as though he were processing something difficult. Slowly his body swayed back and for a moment I thought he was going to fall.

His back straightened quickly again. "Hold on, did you say 'dating'?"

"Yes. I'm going out with somebody, Papa. All on my own free will. And I love them very much, so you better be nice to them or else."

Spirit's mouth opened and closed over and over like a gaping fish. At last he lifted a trembling hand and pointed at her.

"You?" he asked.

Maka nodded.

He moved his finger so it pointed at me. "You?"

I nodded.

His eyes glued themselves to mine. I could only imagine what thoughts buzzed through his head. It took a lot of effort for me not to look down at the floor.

His finger stayed motionless in the same position. If I were an outsider, I probably would've found the display funny. Right now I just wished he'd put his hand down.

As though reading my mind, he did. Staggering like a zombie, the Death Scythe backed into the nearest couch and collapsed onto it. He leaned back so his head drooped over the top.

A grin suddenly spread across his face. "Well, at least it's not that smart aleck partner of yours."

Maka rolled her eyes. "Now that you know, you can't come complaining to me if you hear someone talk about us. That's all I wanted to say."

She turned toward the door, but I let go of her hand.

I walked and stood directly in front of Spirit, who straightened his head and eyed me with uplifted brows.

"I know you l-love her, Sir," I said, "but I do too. I don't mean any harm on either of you, so please don't be sad or angry. I know I'm not p-perfect, but I'm going to do my best to make her happy. I hope you'll understand."

I gripped an arm to stop myself from shivering. The words tumbled out of my mouth involuntarily, but I was glad to say what I was thinking. I also realized it was the closest I'd ever gotten to admitting I loved Maka out loud, even though I wasn't speaking directly to her.

Spirit ran a hand through his crimson hair. "It's a lot to take in, Crona, but I promise I'm not mad or anything. Just don't let her down, alright?"

I gripped my arm harder. What did he mean? Why did he think I'd do that? Before I could consider asking, Maka tugged at my sleeve. Shaking her head at him, she led me away.

When the door closed behind us, she told me not to worry about it, even though I hadn't said anything. It was impressive how well she could read me. For the rest of the day, I silently told myself that I wasn't a letdown.

* * *

-xoxo-

* * *

"Damn," Maka muttered. "Crap. This is not good."

She, Soul, and I sat in the living room, where a pile of mail lay on the coffee table. Today we received our progress reports. Soul and I were getting _C_s and were satisfied with them. Maka was different. She was earning a _B+_.

"It's because I got a low grade on that test I didn't study for." She sighed and let the sheet of paper fall onto her lap. "I've got to do something."

Soul shrugged. "I still don't get how scoring a _C+ _on a test is low."

I wanted to help, so I said, "Maybe you can do some extra credit…?"

But she shook her head no. "Professor Stein doesn't give extra credit, not even if you do a ton of extracurricular assignments."

"It's too bad Marie's just a substitute teacher," Soul remarked. "I bet she'd let us do extra credit. Guess you'll just have to follow Stein around and either beg or bribe him."

She would do nothing of the sort. Since it seemed impossible getting extra credit from Professor Stein, she decided to focus all her efforts into answering every single question correctly on future tests, quizzes, and homework. She'd work extra hard on getting full points for essays and participation exercises.

In private, she took me aside to remind me that I was still more important to her than grades. Although I didn't think there was anything wrong with her having a _B+_, I promised to support her no matter what goal she set for herself. I encouraged her to come to me for any help if she needed it.

She spent so much time over homework for the next couple of weeks that I feared she'd start staying up late again. She told me if it looked like she was overdoing it, I could take her out of the house. "Let's have fun together so I can remember to relax," she said.

One time, after returning from lunch, our class had an interruption. Professor Stein was reading a chapter from one of the textbooks aloud to us when a student burst through the door.

He ran straight to the professor, panting, and began speaking to him in low tones. Most of the class had been in a quiet stupor, but perked up at the sudden arrival. Whatever they discussed up front, it looked urgent.

A few murmurs rippled across the sea of students. Maka and I exchanged frowns of concern.

Professor Stein nodded, then lifted his head toward the class. "Maka, would you please come down here for a minute?"

Her eyes widened, but she stood up obediently. I, along with just about the whole class, watched her make her way out and down the steps toward the front of the room.

She clasped her hands together behind her as she listened to what Professor Stein wanted. A few of our classmates sitting in the first row leaned forward, as if straining to hear too.

Soul asked me if I knew what was going on, but I shrugged. I was just as clueless as him. I felt sure Maka had no idea either.

The professor handed her his book, then turned toward the messenger. He began following the boy out of the classroom, but barely took two steps before Maka caught him by the sleeve of his lab coat. Cheeks flushed, she appeared to ask him something.

Professor Stein stared at her. His face was difficult to read from where I sat.

Meanwhile, the interrupter had already reached the door. "Professor?" he called.

Professor Stein sighed, then nodded his head. Maka smiled at his retreating back.

A number of students raised their voices in protest when the door closed. Maka stood tall and cleared her throat loudly to quiet them.

"Professor Stein had to leave because Marie-sensei is in the infirmary. She tripped down a stairway and sprained her ankle. It's nothing too serious, but he's going to stay with her for the rest of the day. Until then, I'm in charge. If anyone has a problem with that, feel free to take it up with the professor."

No one moved. Maka had a look on her face like she was ready to Maka-Chop the first student who caused any trouble.

She looked small from where I sat, but the way she stood with the textbook in her hand made her seem like a real teacher. Her gaze swept over all the rows of her peers, waiting to see if anyone had anything to say. When no one spoke, she cleared her throat again and read from where Professor Stein left off.

Her voice carried throughout the room. She lectured in her own way, adding more than simple recitation. She didn't just read the words in front of her—she explained them to us. The book talked about the what, the when, the where, and the who; Maka talked about the how and the why.

For a while the class was silent. It almost felt like everyone was afraid to make the slightest noise. My pencil lay unmoving between my fingers. I wasn't scared, but mesmerized. I watched her as she paced elegantly while reading and I thought, _She's remarkable_.

Her eye caught mine briefly during one of her pauses. I jumped and remembered to take notes.

Even though it was easy to hear her as she lectured, some of the things she said were hard to understand. I ignored it at first, but since it kept happening, I decided to raise my hand.

"Yes, Crona?"

"Um… P-Professor Albarn…"

Some of our classmates laughed. Her cheeks colored as she told me to call her by her first name. "I'm still a student, you guys."

I swallowed. "Yes, ma'am… I mean, Maka… What does that word you said mean?"

"Which one?"

"Im… Imper…"

"Imperious?"

"Yeah, that one."

She smiled. "It's like… 'arrogant' or 'bossy.'"

I made a note and heard a few voices go "ohhh" as if they'd been wondering too.

After that, other students began sticking their hands in the air to ask questions about the lesson. She had an answer for everything and seemed happy that we weren't so quiet anymore.

Professor Stein had left when the day was more than halfway done, so Maka wasn't our teacher for very long. Before we knew it, the bell rang.

Everyone scuffled to gather up their belongings. Maka's lay right next to me, so I bent down to grab them for her.

The room emptied out except for Soul, Black*Star, and the rest of our closest friends. We all gathered in front of the teacher's desk to comment on how she did.

She sat on Professor Stein's favorite wheeled chair, looking proud of herself. She confessed she felt terrified and anxious deep down, but thanked us all for being so cooperative.

We all planned to visit Marie-sensei in the infirmary, but Maka wasn't allowed to go yet. In addition to lecturing, she had to grade the homework from last night. Professor Stein had promised to return before it got dark.

With her permission, I stayed by her side, wanting to keep her company.

The stack of homework we'd turned in that morning lay inside one of the desk's drawers, along with the answer key. She took them out and led me to where we usually sat in class so we could sit comfortably by each other. She asked if I wanted to grade them too, but I was content to just watch. She was less likely than me to make a mistake matching answers.

When she reached my assignment, she showed me which ones I got wrong and why. She also suggested that I have her look over my homework at home in the future.

Professor Stein didn't come back when the grading was finished, so we spent some time playing Tic Tac Toe and Hangman on a blank sheet of paper.

"I kind of tricked him, to tell you the truth," Maka said suddenly. "When he asked me to take over, I wanted to do it for extra credit."

I paused, turning this bit of information over in my mind. "Well… I think you deserve it. You did a good job today, so that's worth some extra points."

She smiled at me and placed a hand over my own. "Thanks."

I smiled back, then cast a glance at the closed door. "Do you think Professor Stein was really worried about Marie-sensei?"

"I'm sure he was. Even though it's just a sprain, I bet he wanted to be the one to treat her."

I thought about this. Somewhere deep in my memory, I recalled the time I asked Marie-sensei for advice about my feelings. She looked like she understood firsthand how it felt to be in love.

"Do you think Professor Stein cares about her?" I asked slowly.

Maka nodded. "I think they're in love."

I looked at her. "Like us?"

"That's right." She gripped my hand, raised it to her lips, and kissed it.

I stared as she lowered our hands between us. A warmth spread through me, making me feel like I wanted to share it with her. "Can I hug you?"

"Of course," she said.

The moment our arms circled around us, I remembered how she didn't need me to ask to do things like this. I was free to show her affection anytime. She was okay with nearly anything.

Eyes shut, we stayed close to each other, taking in how toasty and cozy we felt. Sometimes touching her seemed like a dream, like something out of a poem or song.

Our breathing matched at calm, steady paces. My heartbeat bumped along rhythmically and though I couldn't feel hers, I was certain it sailed with just as much ease.

I heard her say, "I love you, Crona."

My eyelids shook, but I didn't open them. Even in the darkness, I was aware of the light I held. She filled me with hope, sanity, harmony, bravery, and strength. I swallowed to unstick my throat and though I stuttered, I pushed out my thoughts. "I… I… l-love you… t-too…"

The words pressed against her neck as a faraway mumble. Somehow she heard them because her fingers tensed in response.

I kept my eyes closed, focusing on keeping my breaths stable. It was good that the room was so big or otherwise I might have felt cramped.

Her silence and stillness worried me, so I moved my hands. They stroked the length of her spine a few times, then held onto the back of her head.

She moved so I could see her face. To my relief, she was smiling. She cupped one of my cheeks in her palm and breathed out a gentle stream of air. Her green eyes shone curiously.

My hands cradling the back of her head nearly slipped as she inched closer. I watched her curious eyes droop shut and knew right away what she was trying to do again. She was leaning in close, like I asked her to in order to encourage me, or I might've never tried. It was a gentle push, so I decided to mirror her. I concentrated. With her, I felt safe from everything. With her, there was no one else to worry about.

I didn't know whose lips touched the other's first or if they met at the same time. All I knew was that her breath enveloped me before her lips did. A warm, moist breeze grazed across my mouth then disappeared under a blanket of wet silk.

A batch of sparks went off inside my mind, sharpening my senses tenfold. My whole body tingled, all from this new sensation. I held Maka comfortably against me, willing her to feel as much delight as I did. My ears burned, my heart thumped, and my cheek glowed underneath her hand.

She tasted rich and sweet like the inner parts of a fruit. She had a blend of softness and firmness to her. Both textures brushed over, around, between, and across my lips slowly, carefully. It was a lot for me to handle, but I wanted all the time in the world to grow accustomed to it.

I moved very little, tying to dwell on the newfound experience. Amazingly, she kissed with motions so fluid I never would've believed this was her first time too. It seemed to come to her naturally, like learning to sense souls.

With our faces close together, I pictured her in front of me, perhaps blushing like I did, but cuter. She resembled a light pink blossom. I clasped the back of her head gently, noting each strand of soft feathery hair. The warmth of her cupped hand blended with the warmth of my cheek.

We sat together there in our usual seats in the classroom, wrapped up in each other. We stayed in the same pose with as small a gap between our figures as possible. We were at ease.

Her lips slid against mine fully while I pressed back. They tasted juicy, fresh. Sometimes she'd focus on a single corner of my mouth, but never used her teeth. Our lips were so slick that I grew concerned they would wander away from each other by accident. Somehow they stayed in place, as if attached as one.

I gave one more press and slowed to a standstill. As we pulled away, a shiver rushed through me. I opened my eyes to find Maka breathing deeply in and out. I loosened my hold on the back of her head before she removed her hand from my face.

She began to speak, but her throat chipped her voice so she covered her mouth to clear it. "What did it feel like?"

I said the first thing that popped up. "Amazing."

She beamed. "Really? Glad to hear you liked it so much. Wait until we do it longer, more than once, and with our mouths open."

I turned sweaty at the thought, and she quickly added, "When or if you feel ready for it, that is."

I asked what the kiss felt like to her. She answered, "Tender."

I smiled shyly, happy to hear she enjoyed it too. I could still feel the kiss on my lips, literally. Heart thumping, I wiped the moisture off with the back of my wrist.

We held hands as it got darker outside. The two of us rested our heads close together on the desk in front of us, cheeks pressed against the cool surface. We listened to the sounds of our breathing in the empty room until we heard the door swing open.

Professor Stein strode in wiping his glasses with a handkerchief. We stood up to meet him down at the front. We asked about Marie-sensei and learned she was fine. She'd be staying in the infirmary overnight and going home in the morning to heal for several days.

Maka and I described how class went without him and thanked him for making an exception in terms of giving out some extra credit. With all matters settled, we bade him good evening.

The two of us walked home holding hands and rocking our arms back and forth. I felt giddy and wondered if all first kisses had this kind of side-effect.

At home, Maka and I wished each other good night and sealed it with mild but meaningful pecks on the forehead.

I all but floated to my desk and pulled out my journal. Next to the line _Say, "I love you too" _were five tick marks. I wrote the number six next to them and circled it, adding in the date.

Next to the line that read _Kiss _were three tick marks. I wrote down the number four next to them, circled it, and put down today's date.

I no longer saw the tick marks as failures. Now they looked more like steps or progress bars. Each one represented a percentage increase until I experienced the new thing. It took a total of nine trials to say we were on a date, six tests to tell her I loved her too, and four tries to kiss her when she wanted it. They took a long time to happen, but I supposed it was better late than never. I was glad they happened in the end.

But above all, what mattered most was her happiness—Maka, the girl who stayed within a special space in my heart and soul made just for her.

Before I went to sleep, I found the next blank page in my journal and wrote an entry.

_Today I stayed after class with Maka while she graded homework for extra credit. She did a great job standing at the head of the class as a temporary teacher. I think she'd make a good one for real if she wanted to._

_We stayed in the empty classroom waiting for Professor Stein to return from helping Marie-sensei. I was able to tell Maka that I loved her too and then we kissed for the first time. I think I'll be able to do these things a bit more easily now._

_I'm really lucky that Maka is patient with someone like me. When she first gave me this journal, she said not to write about how I'm not good enough or don't deserve something. Deep down I still feel like I don't deserve her, so tomorrow I will go to her and we will talk about how wrong that is._


End file.
